You’ve just had some life changing news…
It’s ok to freak out.
Questions on your mind may be..
Are we going to keep it?
What will my parents think!?
If I think back to when that question was posed to me,
(After I stopped freaking out)
It felt like a question of whether we could firstly live, survive and continue to function with a baby and,
Secondly whether we thought we could raise children that weren’t going to be disadvantaged because of our financial situation or young age…
The first concern wasn’t really founded because the fact is that life goes on…
And things have a way of working out for those who have the courage to face life’s challenges.
The second concern required a bit more investigation into our options financially and my own self-reflection into who I am (or was at the time) and coming to terms with the enormity of what lay ahead.
But I know that for some of you, the situation is such that having a child is not ideal or appropriate.
This is going to be a tough decision for both of you.
Here are some suggestions if you choose to go down that path:
Do not pressure the girl into making a decision.
This is her body.
You do not and will not have any authority over her body, even if your little seedling is inside.
What you should do is talk to her and voice your concerns about the situation you’re in calmly and with reason.
Either way you need to tell her that you will support her through this.
What she needs from you is to basically hold your sh*t together.
If you are going to have a relationship with this woman in the future (whatever form that is), how you deal with this situation will set things up for what’s to come.
If you choose to have the baby…
Let me tell you a few things:
- Life will not end
- You will still be able to achieve your goals
- If your family truly loves you they will not disown you.
And here are a couple things that I did when I first found out, which helped me take control of the situation:
- Find out what financial benefits you may be entitled to.
Seeking information from centrelink (if in Australia) or the 211 resource database (if in USA).
- Start thinking about how and when you are going to tell your folks
Talking to your parents (or significant adult role model) are going to give you grounding in this situation.
They will help discuss your options and it will put your mind at ease.
Remember, whatever your decision is…
The act of making babies doesn’t make you a man.
How you act in pressure situations does.
This post originally appeared on the author’s blog.