Whether it is love or marriage, a good relationship will give people a feeling of happiness. You will feel that after you have him, your whole world will be brighter.
But the person who loves you the most often hurts you the most. After you get along for a while, you find out that he is not the right person, and then your world becomes cold again.
A good relationship must be balanced with each other. One cannot give desperately while the other takes desperately. If this goes on, the giving party will become weaker and weaker, while the demanding party will only want more.
When suitable people are together, they will always be full of happiness, they will sincerely think about each other, and they will empathize and think about what others think. They love each other deeply and move forward hand in hand.
And the other is the complete opposite, that is, if the wrong people are together, you will have three feelings all the time, and at least three.
01 loneliness everywhere
There is a kind of love or marriage, even if the other half exists, it is only in name, and life is just as good as when you were single.
You are often alone, especially after you get married, and you live a life of “widow-style” marriage.
You can feel lonely all the time. It’s okay if you don’t get married. If you don’t get married, there will be nothing to live alone. Once you become two people, you will start to look forward to it. But your expectation will be disappointed.
Maybe there is no hope, there will be no disappointment, but in this way, what is the meaning of marriage?
When you feel lonely and your relationship has more or fewer problems, you must raise them in time and solve them together with him.
02 a sense of helplessness with nowhere to hide
Loneliness has no shape, and it feels like a big hole has been cut in the heart.
But helplessness is different. Helplessness can be manifested everywhere in life. When life is severely traumatized when you are greatly wronged at work when your child is sick after marriage, and so on.
In these helpless moments, you wish there was someone who could be by your side and accompany you to solve it together.
You’re not single, why do you have to carry it all by yourself? There is another half, but that man is useless.
It’s better not to have this kind of love, and it’s better not to start this kind of marriage in the first place.
03 boundless despair
Disappointment is not the most terrifying thing. Disappointment just means that the man’s actions did not meet your original expectations.
But despair is different. Despair means that there is no hope at all for this relationship, whether in love or marriage.
People begin to give up, not instantly, but over time. If they don’t accumulate enough disappointment, how can they become despair?
Once you start to despair, you will no longer have any expectations for this relationship. It is only a matter of time when it is appropriate to leave.
No relationship is worth being in it with endless grievances. If there is, it can only mean that you are not suitable, you love the wrong person, and you are married to the wrong person.
Whether he loves you or not, whether you are suitable, you know better than anyone else, you just love too much, and you are not willing to give up. But it is wise to cut your losses in time.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
—
Photo credit: Roberto Nickson on Unsplash