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Can dating get any harder? Yes, if you’re a zero-waste vegan.
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I used to hold whomever I dated to the highest standard (whatever that is) until I realized that even I couldn’t live up to that standard.
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I used to think that whomever I dated had to be an environmentalist until I realized that by doing so I would reduce my dating pool too much…
I used to think that whomever I dated had to be passionate about their work until I realized that not everyone has the ability or freedom to do exactly what they want…
I used to hold whomever I dated to the highest standard (whatever that is) until I realized that even I couldn’t live up to that standard…
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So here I am, in the new year, single, as I usually am, wondering how I can date as a self-proclaimed zero waste vegan without driving women (or myself) crazy.
The most recent woman I dated was great. I was wanting to embrace a vegan diet, but didn’t have the chutzpah to make it happen. She had been vegan for more than a decade after responding to a professor’s call to action during undergrad. Perfect! This was just the incentive/motivation/support I needed.
I’ve heard that you should write down a list of what you are looking for in a partner, rank them in order of importance, being mindful that the top three or so are deal breakers. |
She was an occupational therapist who focused on at-risk babies. Not an environmentalist, but a person of service, committed to helping others in need (babies, for crying out loud!). Caring and compassion, doing work that most people would commend but shy away from. A noble profession. What more could I ask for in a partner?
My lifestyle. That was the “more” I was asking for.
- If I can’t find a water fountain and don’t have a reusable bottle or cup, I’ll go thirsty.
- If I want a cup of coffee to go but don’t have my mug, I’ll skip the treat.
- If I go shopping but forget a cloth bag, I’ll carry everything loose to my car.
To most people this is crazy/weird/different. To me it’s just normal.
My question to you is: How do you find a compatible partner without sacrificing your values?
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I’ve heard that you should write down a list of what you are looking for in a partner, rank them in order of importance, being mindful that the top three or so are deal breakers. Those things that are so important that accepting anything less would be unacceptable.
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Minimalist – she must be committed to a rich life without frivolous spending
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Purposeful – she must be on a career path (or personal path if a healthy career path isn’t feasible) that supports having a positive impact on society; a life worthy of respect.
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Mindful – she must be mindful of the consequences and impact of her actions.
That list is totally easy to fulfill, right? Ummmmmmm. Not quite.
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It is easy for all of us to get wrapped up in our own needs and problems that we forget just how small of a piece we are to a very large pie.
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Am I alone in this?
If you maintain a lifestyle that makes it difficult to date, I’d like to hear about it. Maybe you are a long distance runner or a professional gambler. How do you find that balance? How do you make it work?
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
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Photo: iStock
As long as there’s no judgment, I don’t see an issue with your criteria. If you’re truly looking for another zero-waste vegan, that may be slightly harder than looking for someone who respects and understands your choice as a zero-waste vegan. I would hope you’d give people a chance to be inspired into change. Frankly speaking, the criteria that you mentioned is a subset of those that I use in my own search for Mr. Right; I’m not as a big on minimalism as you are, but certainly the purposeful and mindful aspects are important to me. If you keep… Read more »
I’m a child-free by choice, unmarried-by-choice, feminist vegan. I hear you!
Good lord. So, you are the decider of who has a life “worthy of respect” and who “adds value to society”? That is to say, unless someone does only the things you deem worthy that you think they have no value? It’s great that you have a very specific list of what zero-waste vegan actions someone must take if they to be sufficiently acceptable as a valuable person and what kind of cup they must have, but……..I don’t think it’s your lifestyle that makes it difficult for you to date.