Michael Flood wants us to stand up and do something about violence against women (and men).
Most men are not violent. Sure, most treat the women in their lives with respect and care, but very few actually do anything to challenge the violence perpetrated by a minority of men. In order for our culture to move toward non-violence and gender equality, men need to play a bigger part.
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Violence against women
In Australia for example, the Personal Safety Survey reveals that in the last 12 months, one in 20 women were the victims of physical or sexual violence. Women are most at risk in the home, and from men they know. Since the age of 15, 40 percent of all women have experienced violence. Close to one in three women (29 percent) have experienced physical assault, and close to one in five women (17 percent) have experienced sexual assault.
In the US, the National Violence Against Women Survey found that over one in five women have been physically assaulted by a current or former intimate partner in their lifetime. About one in 14 women (8 percent) have ever been raped by a current or former intimate partner. Close to one third (31 percent) of women in the US have been physically assaulted since age 18.
We know too that this violence has a profound and damaging impact on its victims and on the community as a whole. When women are physically assaulted, forced into sex, or constantly threatened and abused, this leaves deep physical and psychological scars.
An Australian study by VicHealth in 2004 found that, among women under 45, intimate partner violence contributes more to their poor health, disability, and death than any other risk factor, including obesity and smoking. Violence against women has long-term effects on men’s and women’s relationships, on their children, and on communities.
Violence against women is shaped by a wide variety of social factors at personal, situational, and social levels. But we know that this violence is more likely in situations where manhood is defined through dominance, toughness, or male honor. Most men don’t ever use violence against their wives or girlfriends. But those men who do are more likely to have sexist, rigid, and hostile gender-role attitudes. There are higher rates of domestic violence in cultures where violence is seen as a normal way to settle conflicts, men feel entitled to power over women, family gender relations are male-dominated, husband-wife relations are seen as private, and women are socially isolated. Sexual violence is shaped by norms of a sexual double standard, victim-blaming, and the myth of an uncontrollable male sexuality. Poverty, alcoholism and drug abuse, and mental illness all are further risk factors. Violence against women also is shaped by race, class, sexuality, and other social divisions.
Of course, males are also the victims of violence. Boys and men are most at risk of violence from other boys and men. Ending violence to girls and women and ending violence to boys and men are part of the same struggle — to create a world based on equality, justice and non-violence.
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Men’s positive roles
Men have a crucial role to play in preventing the physical and sexual violence that so many women suffer, and men have much to gain from doing so. If we are to end this violence, men themselves will need to take part in this project. A minority of men use violence against women. And too many men condone this violence, ignoring, trivializing, or even laughing about it.
There are simple, positive steps any man can take to be part of the solution. Find out about the violence that many women experience. Don’t condone the view that the victim is to blame. Check out how we treat the women around us. Speak out when friends, relatives, or others use violence or abuse. Be a good role model, whether you’re a dad, a boss, a teacher, or a coach. And, beyond these individual actions, take part in public actions and campaigns such as the White Ribbon Campaign.
To really stop violence against women, we will need to change the social norms and power inequalities that feed into violence. Men must join with women to encourage norms of consent, respect, and gender equality, to challenge the unfair power relations that promote violence, and to promote gender roles based on non-violence and gender justice.
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A men’s issue
Violence against women is often seen as a women’s issue. This makes sense, as its focus is the sexual and physical violence that women suffer. But I want to stress that violence against women is also a ‘men’s issue.’
Violence against women is a ‘men’s issue’ because it is men’s wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends whose lives are limited by violence and abuse. It’s a men’s issue because, as community leaders and decision-makers, men can play a key role in helping stop violence against women. It’s a men’s issue because men can speak out and step in when male friends and relatives insult or attack women. And it’s a men’s issue because a minority of men treat women and girls with contempt and violence, and it is up to the majority of men to help create a culture in which this is unacceptable.
While most men treat women with care and respect, violence against women is a men’s problem. Some men’s violence gives all men a bad name. Violence against women is men’s problem because many men find themselves dealing with the impact of other men’s violence on the women and children that we love. Men struggle to respond to the emotional and psychological scars borne by our girlfriends, wives, female friends, and others, the damaging results of earlier experiences of abuse by other men.
I’ve come to realize that violence against women is a deeply personal issue for men, just as it is for women. I’ve been saddened to realize how many of the women I know have had to deal with childhood abuse, forced sex, or controlling boyfriends. I’ve felt shock and despair in hearing about the harassment, threats, and humiliations that women experience far too often. I’ve felt angry at the victim-blaming I’ve sometimes heard from male colleagues and acquaintances. And I’ve been humbled and shamed in realizing my own ignorance and in reflecting on times when I may have been coercive or abusive.
At the same time, I’ve also felt inspired by the strength and courage of women who’ve lived through violence. I’ve found hope and energy in participating in a growing network of women and men who’ve taken on the challenge of working to stop violence against women. In making personal changes and taking collective action, I’ve found joy and delight in the enriching of my friendships with women and men and my relationships with women.
It has been particularly inspiring to see large numbers of men (and women) take up the White Ribbon Campaign, a campaign inviting men to wear a white ribbon to show their commitment to ending violence against women. The White Ribbon Campaign focuses on the positive roles that men can play in helping to stop violence against women. It is built on a fundamental hope and optimism for both women’s and men’s lives, and a fundamental belief that both women and men have a stake in ending violence against women.
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A better world
In campaigning against sexual and physical assault, it is important to remind ourselves of what we are for. We desire sexual lives based on consent, safety, and mutual pleasure. We hope for friendships and relationships that are respectful and empowering. And we dream of just and peaceful communities.
Men have a personal stake in ending violence against women. Men will benefit from a world free of violence against women, a world based on gender equality. In our relations with women, instead of experiencing distrust and disconnection, we will find closeness and connection. We will be able to take up a healthier, emotionally in-touch, and proud masculinity. Men’s sexual lives will be more mutual and pleasurable, rather than obsessive and predatory. And boys and men will be free from the threat of other men’s violence.
—Photo Lisa Norwood/Flickr
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Violence against everyone is bad and I do what I can to stop violence against women (I admit that I tend to let men fight it out). I walk women to their cars when they ask, but I learned the hard way never to offer. I’ve kicked the snot out of guys who’ve hit the women I know although this has not served to stop violence as these women have never left their men. The biggest issue for me and I think it’s worth exploring is how do you stop violence committed by your friends. If a friend of mine… Read more »
Violence against people is a people’s issue. That’s just my opinion. What about when a womam serially murders 177 women? Is that a men’s issue or a women’s issue — or opehaps a people’s issue? See:
http://unknownmisandry.blogspot.com/2011/09/creepiest-female-serial-killers.html
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What men do is men’s fault and what women do is men’s fault too. Somehow feminism has raised women with no backbone and no self-determination, instead they revel in their victim status. If a woman raises a hand against me, I will respond in kind. After all, men and women are equal now, don’t start a fight you cannot finish.
My god, you guys are whingers. And so WESTERN centric. You keep talking about the women-on-men violence you see on television. Have you ever considered that on a GLOBAL scale – in countries other than your own – that the violence again women from men really IS a lot worse, more acceptable and widespread than violence towards men from women (which is many countries would not ever be able to exist)?
Or at least in those countries no man would ever admit to being battered. Female sexual predation was only recognized in the West about ten years ago. Does that mean that it never happened prior to ten years ago?
Violence Against Men and Children Is a Women’s Issue Most women are not violent. Sure, most treat the men and children in their lives with respect and care, but very few actually do anything to challenge the violence perpetrated by a minority of women. In order for our culture to move toward non-violence and gender equality, women need to play a bigger part. All the women who don’t speak out against female violence -be it physical/emotional/psychological- on men and children are part of the problem. It’s time to woman up and start taking your responsibilities: your war on Men and… Read more »
Thank you for your article, I think it reflects consensus ideas of our society, but it recognizes the fact that the issue of violence has to be addressed. Violence has to be stopped whether it is perpetrated against women, men, children or animals! Violence against women is only one part of the problem and it is meaningless to talk about this part of the problem separately from violence in general. Violence is violence, whether it is perpetrated by a man, a woman or the government. By turning this into a gender issue we are being duped into believing the issue… Read more »
I’ve been abused physically, emotionally, and financially by the ever-glorious mother of our (read: her) children. You, Mr. Flood can sod off with your parenthetical ‘acknowledgement’. Many of us know that you’re peddling discarded trinket in a shinier and prettier wrapping.
Anyone remember Sharon Osbourne’s description (on mainstream TV) about a man having his penis cutoff as being “fabulous” – to howls of laughter from the female audience.
https://www.youtube.com/user/TheHappyMisogynist#p/u/25/F-cdi7boyRQ
I think this sums up the culture in which we live.
Men don’t matter. Women are superior beings.
Michael Flood’s article just reinforces that message which is drummed into us 24/7 from all media from the day we are born.
Men Shouldn’t Be Overlooked as Victims of Partner Violence
Volume 42 Number 15 Page 31
© American Psychiatric Association
Regarding perpetration of violence, more women than men (25 percent versus 11 percent) were responsible. In fact, 71 percent of the instigators in nonreciprocal partner violence were women.
http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/42/15/31.2.full
Michael Flood: I reject the claim that women’s violence against men is as common or as serious a problem as men’s violence against women. ——- You presume wrong, what about some more serious studies into this subject…. Some sentences from this report http://epubs.utah.edu/index.php/ulr/article/view/484/352 the alarmingly high demand for forced labor is marginalized even though it provides a greater incentive for human traffickers. ….. Furthermore, social conditions indicate that males are most vulnerable to this form of human trafficking. ….. The absence of publicity regarding boy sex trafficking makes it increasingly attractive to criminal networks that specialize in obtaining young boys… Read more »
Michael Flood: I’m disappointed to see that, rather than addressing the issue of the positive roles men can play in preventing men’s violence against women, many posters instead prefer to focus on women’s violence against men.
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Of course, what do you expect? This website is considered to be men-friendly.
Women are as violent as men, and there are plenty of reliable sources proving it.
Why do you focus only about how to prevent men’s violence against women?
You should write something about ‘the positive role’ women can play to prevent violence against men.
There seems to be a theme in this article that at least implies that women are um, superior to men. The men need to man up and protect the ladies from these other bad men with the obvious conclusion that the women are worth being protected. Why wouldn’t the men be urged to protect other men? Well, because the men simply aren’t worth has much. Ladies first right? This sort of thinking is what is known as chauvinism. Here’s a definition: “the maintenance of fixed beliefs and attitudes of female superiority, associated with overt and covert depreciation of men.” In… Read more »
The respect I lost for the TGMP for allowing Flood a platform to write his anti-male rhetoric was regained by the way the user community called him to task. Flood, you have been publishing misandric “research” under the color of your degree for years and the public has your number. You will need to start truly acknowledging ALL violence, including that against boys, men and fathers, even when it is committed by women, or you will continue to be called out for it. If this is the reception you get on a pro-feminist site like the TGMP I can only… Read more »
I am embarrassed about how rude some of these comments are. Michael Flood is just saying men and boys should alter their vocabulary and attitudes when speaking about women’s abuse. He is not denying that men undergo abuse, nor that women are perfect, innocent little victims by default. How can you misunderstand the article so completely?? He is saying boys and men should not play macho and should stand up to idiotic men who speak lightly, disregard or joke about the severity of sexual abuse against women. These guys most likely also harbour racist feelings too- but no one would… Read more »
I found this to be a sensitive and well written article and can’t understand the hostility behind so many of the comments. Statistically women face much more rape than men especially- in war. I can give Rwanda as an example. I understand that it is frustrating for men to feel misrepresented by the minority of men who commit painful and terrible sexual crimes against other men, women and children but it is unfair to take it up with people like Michael Flood who are promoting peace and security for women. I am a 26 year old woman in a loving,… Read more »
Here is a paper about the methods that the feminist movement uses to obscure the truth about domestic violence.
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/V74-gender-symmetry-with-gramham-Kevan-Method%208-.pdf
Micheal Flood.
You can sign up by joining good feminists like Dr. Straus, Gelles and Wendy McElory in exposing the truth on domestic violence and truth about feminism’s manipulations and fraudulent claims about domestic violence instead if obscuring it and presenting it as gendered rather than a human problem, as you do.
Also, regarding rape, it only appears to be gendered if you do not include forced envelopment by the female.
– Men ignore it because 1. The abuser isn’t going to stop and 2. they know the woman will stay with her man.
My female cousin was physically abused by her boyfriend, so my older brother went to their apartment beat the guy up.
Months later she let him move back in and they now have two child.
You have abusers who won’t listen and woman who won’t leave.
I don’t care to deal with people like that because they don’t care to get the help they need.
In my writings for example, way back in 1999 I acknowledged that “Some victims of domestic violence certainly are men. … some have been assaulted by women. Male victims of domestic violence deserve the same recognition, sympathy, support and services as do female victims. And they do not need to be 50 percent of the victims to deserve these” Yes, and in the paragraphs following that you wrote: There are also some important differences between men’s and women’s experiences of domestic violence. When men are subject to domestic violence by women, the violence is not as prolonged and nor is… Read more »
In summation, once again: “men are evil, women are innocent victims.”
Despite the inconvenient fact that men are 3x more likely to be a victim of violence, as reported. Of course, none of the writers want readers to know about those facts.
Thanks all for your comments. I’m disappointed to see that, rather than addressing the issue of the positive roles men can play in preventing men’s violence against women, many posters instead prefer to focus on women’s violence against men. I’ve answered many of the responses in two other published pieces: (1) Violence against women and men in Australia – What the Personal Safety Survey can and can’t tell us about domestic violence: http://www.xyonline.net/content/violence-against-women-and-men-australia-what-personal-safety-survey-can-and-cant-tell-us-ab; and (2) an encyclopedia entry on domestic violence: http://www.xyonline.net/content/domestic-violence-encyclopedia-men-and-masculinities. The other piece I’ve highlighted, in which I focus on violence against men, was published in 2007, although… Read more »
“men feel entitled to power over women, family gender relations are male-dominated, husband-wife relations are seen as private, and women are socially isolated.” Felson, Outlaw 2007, THE CONTROL MOTIVE FOR MARITAL VIOLENCE …The findings indicate no support for the position that husbands engage in more marital violence than wives because they are more controlling. … In general, our results are consistent with those of Stets and Hammond (2002) in showing that wives are more controlling than husbands in their current marriages. We also found that wives are more likely to be jealous and possessive. … Although there are some interactions… Read more »
Michael Flood is most notorious for his attack on the CTS, which is defended as follows: Straus 2007, CONFLICT TACTICS SCALES The CTS is both the most widely used measure of family violence and also the most widely criticized. Extensive critical examination is appropriate for any widely used instrument because, if the instrument is wrong, then a great deal of research will also be wrong. In the case of the CTS, however, the most frequent criticisms reflect ideological differences rather than empirical evidence. Specifically, many feminist scholars reject the CTS because studies using this instrument find that about the same… Read more »