What does it mean to be masculine? What does it mean to be feminine? These words could use some clarification because for too long they have been used loosely.
It will be helpful to refrain from tying the terms masculine and feminine to males and females. From my way of thinking, masculine and feminine refer to tendencies to think, feel and act in certain ways. What might traditionally be considered masculine tendencies describe qualities like groundedness, perseverance, logic, focus, confidence, assertiveness, physical exertion, competition, protection. Feminine tendencies refer to qualities like emotionality, cooperation, creativity, nurturing, yielding, responsiveness, patience, connection, intuition. The terms masculine and feminine simply describe these tendencies, not males and females.
Look at the masculine and feminine qualities listed in the previous paragraph. You’ll notice that both sets of qualities are entirely positive and beneficial. Whether a man or a woman, the more of these qualities a person possesses, the more well-rounded they are. A man who is able to be yielding, nurturing, intuitive, and in touch with his emotions, in addition to his masculine qualities, is a very special person in that he is free to respond in a wide variety of ways. The feminine qualities he engenders will strengthen his relationships and enhance his life. Similarly, a woman who is able to be grounded, competitive, logical, fiercely protective and physically assertive, in addition to her feminine qualities, is also a very special person for the same reason. A man having feminine qualities doesn’t reduce his masculinity. It adds to his masculinity, makes him more of a man, more of a fully responsive human being.
Since the tendencies for thinking, acting, and feeling can be independent of gender, a man can exhibit wonderful feminine qualities and still be considered a “normal” male. And a woman can exhibit wonderful masculine qualities and still be considered a normal female.
There is an interesting interplay between masculine and feminine. Masculine energizes the feminine. Feminine energizes the masculine. That is one reason why women tend to be attracted to masculine men. Being around a guy who has strong masculine tendencies makes a woman feel her femininity. Without the need to take on an assertive male role in the relationship, she relaxes into her womanliness. Likewise, being around a feminine woman makes a man feel his masculinity. He is not in competition and can comfortably be the guy. They can sizzle together.
It is similar to a magnet; opposite poles attract, like poles repel. That polar opposite includes women whose masculine traits predominate, paired with men whose feminine traits predominate. They may or may not sizzle in the same way, but they can do fine together as a couple. When a feminine man pairs with a feminine woman, or a masculine man pairs with a masculine woman, there might be some friction and it could get real interesting.
The interplay of masculine and feminine is a beautiful, creative dance. It is a joy when a couple embraces their differences and dances to the same tune.
***
The Good Men Project gives people the insights, tools, and skills to survive, prosper and thrive in today’s changing world. A world that is changing faster than most people can keep up with that change. A world where jobs are changing, gender roles are changing, and stereotypes are being upended. A world that is growing more diverse and inclusive. A world where working towards equality will become a core competence. We’ve built a community of millions of people from around the globe who believe in this path forward. Thanks for joining The Good Men Project.
Support us on Patreon and we will support you and your writing! Tools to improve your writing and platform-building skills, a community to get you connected, and access to our editors and publisher. Your support will help us build a better, more inclusive world for all.
***
This post is republished on Agents of Change on Medium.
—
Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com