Anthony Carter knows how hard it is to survive a childhood that was critical of who he was. He wants that to change for the boys of today.
To all the boys who may or may not be queer. The boys picked last in sports but first for the latest in fashion, entertaining, and tasteful decorating. The boys who couldn’t catch a football but instead could clean a bathroom until it sparkles and offer serious, heartfelt care to a sick sibling.
I salute you.
I salute us. In this culture, our gifts go unrecognized or at worse, get criticized and mocked. I salute all the boys like me who were different. Yes, we are here to stay and more importantly will be leading the revolution when the time comes.
Did I mention the time is now?
We are through waiting patiently for the all powerful “they,” whoever the they happens to be this week, to allow us the privilege to “be.” We have been quietly watching from the sidelines learning to survive a very hostile world that is not ready for us.
However, no one is ever fully ready for change. It pretty much sneaks up on you.
♦◊♦
As a young boy and now older adult, I have spent my life seeking kindness. I witness so much cruelty, domination, and coercion in the world.
What are boys and men like me to do if there is no urge to dominate or be dominated? What to do when we would rather a great conversation and a cup of coffee than an opportunity to one up a friend or colleague?
In this world, the thinking man is a problem man. As a person seeking kindness, it becomes difficult to hold out for this seemingly unattainable entity. It seems almost an impossibility trying to survive amidst a world that seems so set on destroying everything that you are.
Almost impossible is not the same as impossible.
Those of us who have survived childhood and didn’t give into the self-hatred that is so seductive when you don’t toe the line, know a thing or two about not only surviving but thriving. Within the harshest of circumstances, human beings hunger for and create beauty.
As a man/boy learns to thrive beyond a prescribed masculinity, we totally thrive by repeatedly creating beauty.
Our refusal to stop being, doing, and developing the things that sustain us is the most important step in revolutionizing our thinking, our relationships and our planet.
Hurray for the assholes that bullied us and bravo to all the young males who survived it, didn’t recreate it, and learned how to not stop simply because a wall of shit fell on their heads.
—
photo by malias / flickr
I disagree with your “us vs. them” world.
But I hate bullying and I will do my best to stand up to the bullies who make your life miserable – most of them shrink when confronted.
And almost all men think and have conversations over coffee. I am ambitious and I enjoy it – but I do not like to “one up” my colleagues.
So maybe there is a place for both of us in the world.
The bullies cost people their very lives. But this nation or the culture known as “America” has never moved proactively against bullies. Ya ever notice that? We support and hand-hold the victims of overt and covert bullying, but the culture really does nothing about it. I STILL read here at GMP authors who will say “but I don’t want to shield him from the bullies, as they are a reality of life.” A reality of life. Getting hit with an axe or run-over by a bus is also a reality of life. It does not mean it needs to be… Read more »
This is great, and I totally agree. Having mentored teens for the past 9 years, I think it’s important to really extract from each boy what their niche is and how they can foster it into something their proud of. I’m not the type that gushes to kids “oh you’re amazing at everything” – I prefer helping them develop an honest assessment of their strengths and weaknesses, and then sharing their gifts and working to develop their weaknesses. I’ve seen so many youth today either ashamed or shy of the their talents, and that certainly needs to change.