The hilarious persistence of a right-wing delusion.
When it comes to reality, some right-wingers are still secessionists. They’ll have no truck with your so-called “facts”, be they about science, law, or observable things you can actually look at. Take, for example, the continuing delusion that President Obama is a Muslim. It ain’t true, never has been, and wouldn’t mean anything even if it were true—but try telling your Fox-News-watching grandma that.
Today, President Obama was sworn in on a literal stack of Bibles (well, a short stack), using both Lincoln’s inaugural Bible, and one that was owned and used by Martin Luther King Jr. That’s like twice as many Bibles as most folks use, and you’d think that would be a sufficient amount of Bible for almost anyone, right?
Nope, not for these folks.
There is something charmingly hilarious about that first guy. When he wants to know what’s REALLY going on in the world, who does he turn to? Mike Huckabee, of all people. I guess that’s one way to do it…
The second guy might be kidding, to be honest. I hope so. The fact that it’s hard to tell says something about the context this is happening in, and not something good.
This one fascinates me. The “Omg” (itself a remarkable capitalization choice) implies that this earnest citizen is surprised to learn this nonfact. But the only way they could believe it to be true is if they already subscribed to the false belief about Obama’s religion, which means this couldn’t possibly come as a surprise. You don’t get to be startled by confirmation bias, people. That’s why it’s called confirmation.
Some people really do think that ritual is magic. You just know that as a kid, this person was the one going “Doesn’t count! We didn’t shake on it!” and memorizing all the protocols for touch-black-no-back and whether having your fingers crossed can render a pinky swear nonbinding.
Second dude… no, you don’t want to know what the book was. If you wanted to know, you could find out in about five seconds; I’m pretty sure you have internet access. You want someone to tell you what you want to hear; that is not the same thing as wanting to know a fact.
This is how hard confirmation bias warps the human brain. If you’re far enough gone, you can look at a man laughing happily with his wife and children, and you’ll find that fiendishly sinister. Please note the typical invocation of guns, though I don’t think this guy’s a threat—note that he asks God to strike down people he doesn’t like, rather than planning to kill them himself. Frankly, I wish more people would rely on God to do their murdering for them.
Okay, grandpa, on your keyboard, is the Caps Lock light on? No, it’s the other… yes, the one that says Caps Lock next to it. Okay, it is? Yeah, that’s why it’s doing that. To turn it off, you push the Caps Lock key… no, not the light, the key that says Caps Lock. It’s over on the left-hand side… okay, the light’s off? Good. Now I’m going to walk you through permanently deleting your Facebook account. Um… because Obama can read your thoughts through Facebook. Let’s go with that.
If everyone you know agrees with you, it MUST be true, right?
I love the “did you notice” theme in some of these. Like they’re just unusually perceptive individuals who individually and without prompting picked up on these imaginary things. And look at how comfortable that “probably” is. “I don’t know, don’t really care to find out, but it was probably something I’d find emotionally validating. That’s good enough for me.”
Could it possibly have been? I’m just raising the question here! I don’t actually want to find out! This is what happens from overexposure to Cavuto marks.
Okay, this guy is totally my favorite. I love people who have counterfactual beliefs, and on some level they know that what they believe is bullshit, so they build in defenses against fact. Some part of this guy knows that it’s quite easy to prove there was no Koran involved, so he’s going straight to his backup plan, which is that there WAS a Koran, but it was CLEVERLY HIDDEN. Check and mate!
Sometimes I want to visit the alternate universe these folks inhabit. It’s such a dramatic, exciting place, all hidden agendas and mad dictators. We all like to play pretend sometimes, and it’s even better if you’ve got an entire media industry dedicated to pretending along with you. Why turn on real news and hear a bunch of boring stuff about moderate adjustments to the estate tax when you can turn on Glenn Beck and hear about shadow-government conspiracies to rob the dead? Come on, that’s no contest.
Sadly, I’m stuck here in boring old reality, where the president’s a decent, pretty moderate guy who’s really good on some issues and not as good on others. He’s got another four years to keep trying to reverse this great nation’s decline, and I wish him well. Regardless of what he does or does not do, I’ll at least get another four years of entertainment out of the delusional weirdos yelling about what they imagine him to be doing. Thanks, Obama.