“Guys are flaming out in school, wiping out socially with girls and sexually with women,” says Philip Zimbardo, professor emeritus at Stanford University in a TED talk just last year. According to Zimbardo’s recent research, guys are 30 percent more likely to drop out of school, girls are surpassing boys intellectually at all grade levels, boys are five times more likely to have ADHD and boys make up two-thirds of all special-ed and remedial students.
What’s causing the rapid decline of these modern men? In addition to the video gaming and porn usage that Zimbardo points to, my colleague and mentor, Matthew Healy (a licensed Marriage and Family therapist and former psychology professor) suggests that women may be playing a larger than expected role in the contemporary guy’s demise.
She goes on to conclude:
While the biology of sex suggests that there are great differences in ways of nurturing, Healy notes he doesn’t think one is better and each can do the job without the other. However, if a woman perpetuates the notion that childcare is gender based, she is not only maintaining her superiority, but Healy says she is passively expressing her low opinion of her man’s ability to care and nurture. Moreover, she is preventing her male counterpart from learning the stereotypically female skills that may be granting women an upper hand. Perhaps worse, she may be partially responsible for the growing imbalance of responsibilities in male-female relationships and contributes to the overall modern male demise.
So the real question is whether or not childcare is gendered–do men and women take care of children differently? I am sure the gender essentialists have a POV on that topic but I tend to think that we as men and women do bring something different to how we care for our sons and daughters. And that as the primary caretakers of the past generations, women rightly feel that they know better. Men might do it differently–even better in some distinct regards–but they won’t always be viewed that way by their wives because a dad’s way may not always be a mom’s.
Or I could be completely wrong. I do think it worth thinking about and talking about. What do you think?