The “nature vs. nurture” debate has been raging since before gay rights advocates were even officially organizing. Now, a new blog is looking to bolster the argument that same-sex attraction is an inherent, organic facet of people’s character. The website is called Born This Way, a name borrowed from a disco song performed by Carl Bean, not from Lady Gaga’s new chartbuster. The concept is simple: Users submit a photo from their childhood that reveals an early demonstration of not-quite-straight behavior or self-identification. A brief story tracking the innocent roots of the child’s LGBT future accompanies each snapshot.
The creator of Born This Way, Paul V. from Los Angeles, only launched the blog the second week of January, but it’s already spread like wildfire, thanks in part to a virtual thumbs-up from Dan Savage, who complimented the site on his own blog. From there, it garnered praise and press from The Advocate, Towleroad, and even El País, one of the most influential Spanish-language news sources online.
The site’s traffic grew exponentially, Paul says. “It was like watching a gas pump—ding, ding ding ding—the numbers kept turning over. It was insane.”
Paul is now taking advantage of all of the attention to communicate his fundamental message that members of the LGBT community should be proud to be true to themselves because they didn’t have a choice in the assignment of their sexuality.
Gay people have never really been allowed to celebrate their childhood or how they felt. I think that when you’re reading [these posts], you’re seeing yourself. Some postings that I’ve put up, it’s almost like the story mirrors mine. I think it’s cathartic, I think it’s self-affirming, and I think it just gives people a sense that there are other people just like them.
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Yet for all of the positive reaction he has received for Born This Way—which launched a Spanish-language version at the end of January—Paul has also received significant criticism. Some readers accuse the website of encouraging warped views of gender by suggesting that all boys who played “make-believe” in dresses are gay and all girls who played “boy sports” or didn’t like dolls are lesbians.
Paul says that’s an unfair assessment of his project. He explained:
I try to reiterate to people who say I’m spreading stereotypes that gay people come in all shades of masculinity and femininity, just like straight people. However, [some male users] do submit their photos of themselves in dresses or feminine poses. Those are their photos and their stories, and they are telling us the truth about themselves. There’s no discussion about that.
In many of the posts, the written story seems to be more important and insightful than the photo. Some of the pieces are particularly powerful, humorously and poignantly recalling the users’ first realizations that they were different from their classmates.
Take, for example, a story by a man named Arthur:
In 1st grade, I would chase down and kiss Kevin on the playground. He didn’t really like it, and the other kids would tease him when he got kissed, but I didn’t see anything wrong with it. These days this would be called “not respecting boundaries.” … Later in grade school, the kids started to develop more accurate vocabularies and started to call me “fag.” … Other contributors to this blog wish they had a name for what they were when they were growing up. I had a name, and I didn’t like it.
Paul’s mission with Born This Way is to ensure that kids like Arthur don’t feel like they’re the only one experiencing complicated feelings that much of society still declares less than normal.
I want these kids who are feeling the bullying or the sadness or the alienation to see themselves in the stories of the people who came before them and to realize that they can make it through, too. We can’t change what happened to us—the past is the past—but we can try to shape the future.
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i dont have anything against gay people but i have no sympathy for arthurs story. obviously most straight people would not react well to a gay person trying to kiss them. wtf is the point of that story. obviously youre going to get called a fag for being a fag.
So by your logic, oh Wiseone, we should call your a douchebag for being a douchebag?
I think that gay sex is grotesque— oh, and by the way, I was born thinking this way. I have always thought it and always will. Oh well, maybe someone will find a cure.
You do understand that “heterophobe” means “a fear of straight people” right?
Hey Heterophobe:
Just so you know, the thought of a penis (or anything) going up inside a vagina is just as repulsive to gay people. It’s quite disgusting and grotesque, don’t you think?
I mean, vaginas are where women bleed and pee.
If there’s any cure needed, it’s to rid the world of ignorant assholes like you.
Excuse me Heterophobe, but I believe you have your name on backward, just like your attitude. It is an established scientific fact that gays, lesbians and the rest of us are born the way we are just like you. There is no cure for us, thankfully there is a cure for stupidity called education. I feel that you should be aware that the members of the GLBT community that you’re discriminating against were actually born the way they are. We don’t choose our orientation any more than you choose yours. Don’t believe me? Watch this AMA video, made for the… Read more »
and some of us grow up to be transgender… and guess what we are born this way too
For some us that are transgender, gender non-conformity started in childhood, and for some us not.
I seriously get annoyed when gender non-conformity is see/labeled as a “gay thing” being gender non-conforming does not automatically equal gay/lesbian.
By the sound of the title I thought this article was going to be about boys playing with dolls. Boy-dolls reinforce the parental instinct in young boys and teach them empathy and their role as a parent. I don’t see why dolls would be attributed to gays. I’ve also met a lot of gay men who are quite “manly” and had far more “manly” interests than myself, such as cars, weight lifting, sports, beer, etc. It’s the flamboyant gays that get all of the media attention, not the average dudes. What I don’t understand is…if they love men, why do… Read more »
As a gay man who played with Barbie and started wearing girls clothes as a young boy,i grew up wanting to express my passion for clothes and fashion.I cant speak for all gay Cross dressing/Drag,transvestites,but I can say,for me its for fun ,almost role playing ,a human life sized barbie doll which happens to go hand in hand with what id like to do with my career as a Costume designer/Wardrobe stylist. I dont live as a woman nor do I want a sex change.I feel flamboyant gay men get attention because of the stigma and stereotype that goes with… Read more »
Adam!
Thank you so much! You did a fantastic job, and I’m really glad we got to chat on the phone!
This is a beautiful write up for my blog, so thank you again!
Keep up the great work, buddy!
xo Paul V.
BornThisWayBlog.com