Her first tweet was this:
The story she mentions, My Dating Adventures Post Divorce, is, like so much of what we publish on The Good Men Project, the first person story of a guy. He falls in love, gets divorced, starts dating again, falls in love…and, well, I won’t give away whether the story ends happily ever after or even just happily. But as we so often talk about here, “the best stories change the tellers and change the readers.”
And Trey’s story changed Louise.
Louise’s second tweet told us that she had gone one step further and written a response. She told her own story. With her permission, we have reprinted it here:
I just read the fascinating article above and at last I thought “There’s hope”. Now this may seem an odd response to someone writing about failed new starts with potential lovers after a divorce but for me it was a chance to realise that there is a life after divorce, even if I have to date a few more frogs to get my soulmate.
You see I am about to get divorced for the second time after only 2 years of marriage. I have in the last few months felt shame, despair and a loss so deep that it has been as if the black hole I am in is impossible to come out of.
As egotistical as it may sound I have never been short of male attention or company, but when I fall in love I fall hard and deep for one person and they become my world. This is what happened in my last marriage and unfortuately I failed to see the signs that my husband was no longer trustworthy until it was too late and he threw my son and I out one Saturday morning.
I have picked myself up and dusted myself off, been asked on dates but shyed away from most offers of a second date as I just do not feel I can connect with anyone out there. What this article by Trey Ellis has made me realise is that even though I have been hurt, and I may be hurt again I should enjoy the journey.
I love bringing my son up, he and I have been a close pair from the day he was born. He is my rock and I am his touchstone, we have lived beautifully as Mum and son alone on and off for the past 12 years. I gave birth to him as a single parent and I will continue to parent alone. What I now realise is that on weekends when my son is away staying with his father, I can go out have a date, have some fun and adult time and just enjoy the experience without worrying where it will lead and if this guy is “the one”.
So thank you Trey, for having the courage to step out of the wham bam thank you maam phase into the relationship phase, it has given me the courage to see that I can try again and its ok for it not to work out first time.
About Louise Murphy: Louise is a Trainee Vegan, Teacher of yoga to under 5’s, Mother, Grandmother, Student of nutrition & adult yoga all in a bid to create a healither rounded future for all. Follower her on Twitter @loulibelleyoga Her blog is here.
Publisher’s Note: The Good Men Project partnered with Chemistry.com earlier this year because they wanted to provide stories and dating advice along with access to their dating platform. What they offer as a point of difference is that you actually get to know the person behind the profile, in part through their exclusive and much talked about personality test. We are a website that likes to highlight stories of change and issues of men, and where possible, we like to provide real life solutions as well. And that’s why Chemistry.com is among our sponsorship partners providing stories and solutions.
photo: docentjoyce / flickr