Jamie Reidy pens an open letter to America’s most influential sports columnist, Bill Simmons, in the wake of his recent interview with President Obama.
For the uninitiated, Bill Simmons, a.k.a. The Sports Guy, is a bestselling author and the editor-in-chief of Grantland.com. His writing style and fan-based approach to his subject matter forever changed sports journalism.
On February 29th, he sat down with President Obama to discuss Jeremy Lin, a college football playoff and throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game. It quickly became iTunes top-ranked podcast of the week.
Dear Bill –
You and I have a lot in common: we attended Catholic colleges, have close relationships with our dads and neither of us is Chinese.
But, you are wildly, unfathomably successful, whereas I’m only mildly successful. We didn’t attend the academy together, but I still sorta feel like Lt. Col. Markinson anyway.
I envy you. Not just your hair. You chased your writing dream much sooner than I did and snatched it from thin air like Wes Welker in the slot. The 99-out-of-100, Wes Welker, that is.
(I also envy your friendship with Malcolm Gladwell. I can’t complain too much, though, since the author of “Outliers” did help get me my movie deal, thereby changing my life forever. But still.)
My envy sprays from my pores like water from an unmanned fire hose, only instead of water it’s burning liquid phosphorous.
All that said, I’m a longtime fan. Even when I don’t agree with you, I generally have to concede that you make compelling arguments. And you still crack me up.
“D’ja hear that The Sports Guy is interviewing Obama?!” No I had not. Uh-may-zing. I was psyched to see it. Until I saw it.
An open collared shirt. In The White House. To meet our Commander in Chief.
I can only assume you rocked flip-flops and a wife beater on your initial visit to your future father-in-law’s home.
You wore a tie to be interviewed by Stephen Colbert–a man who would later pretend to run for president–yet you didn’t wear one when you were interviewing the actual President??? On “Rome Is Burning” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” you donned a sports jacket with jeans. So, to meet the most important man in America, you basically swapped out the latter for suit pants. C-L-A-S-S-Y.
I hope your sartorial decision didn’t reflect a political stance. Maybe Dwayne Wade accidentally clobbered you on a drive to the hoop and you were suffering from a concussion.
Or have you totally gone LA? I think the Boston Sports Guy would’ve sported a tie. He may have had to borrow one, but he would’ve worn it.
I wonder what your mom thought of your “cocktail attire.” Mine would’ve busted out the wooden spoon, for sure.
Speaking of parents, Tie-gate might come back to bite you in the ass. What are you gonna do when your son refuses to wear a tie to his first Holy Communion, or his uncle’s wedding, or whatever? Daddy, didn’t wear a tie, and he met The President!
How long after you sat down did you realize Obama put on a tie to meet you but you hadn’t given him the same courtesy? And, on the I’m A Tool scale, what did you register?
You’re better than that.
Long time reader, first time fashion critiquer,
AP photo: official White House photo by Pete Souza