Okay, Tom here. I didn’t ask Lisa about this. I didn’t ask our 400 evangelical zealots. I didn’t ask Paul Elam or Amanda Marcotte. I didn’t ask Ryan, Jack, Jackie or even my buddy Todd Maudlin who was most recently seen singing the blues at the Mustang Ranch (Sinning Responsibly, of course).
I didn’t even ask my mom.
So this is an endorsement with absolutely no teeth, no credibility, and no meaning.
But let me speak as plainly as I can: our country needs leadership, goodness, and more apple pie. Enough with Mitt, enough with Barack, enough with Newt (man, what an unfortunate name just BTW). There’s only one man in this race who can bring us back to the core values that made our nation great–buying elections–and that is a man named Colbert.
I am not going to get into the stupidity of the electoral college which gave us Bush II over than funny guy with the goggles on Letterman yammering on about greenhouse gases…and in the process lead us into the great war on terror amongst ourselves. I’m not going to get into the changes in voter registration. I’m not even going to get into Democrats taking junk shots on their iPhones or Republicans running off to South American countries on taxpayer money to avoid their homosexual page boy lovers (okay I realize that is several stories confused into one…who cares about the facts when it comes to politics, right?). No, not even the governor going to jail for selling a senate seat or another facing a special election for his treatment of state workers.
No that’s the stuff of Fox News, the new and improved CBS morning show with Charley Rose and Oprah’s once and future girlfriend, and the ever serious Tom Brokaw who might just the last of the Great Generation.
What I really want to know is: who has the most powerful Super-PAC because he with the biggest pile of gold coins can sling the most mud and, presto, become President?
Is Stephen Colbert.
If you need any further proof I ask you to watch this, the greatest speech at a Presidential podium since the Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address.
South Carolina you can try to forestall this freight train.
But it’s a comin’ anyhow like shit through a pigs hindquarters. There will be steam a risin’ on this fine morning in America.
Get on the bus or get the hell out of the way.
Photo: Zuma Press