Our Soldiers are being raped…by our Soldiers.
In the U.S. Military, annually, more men are being raped by men than women are being raped by men. I state this fact, articulating it in this manner, not to diminish what these women are enduring but to raise the level of awareness and discourse to fully include the men; they have been dropping through the cracks in our “system” in alarming and increasing numbers. The assertion is that this problem is as great among men and these men are not being supported. There is virtually no effective system or network of support for male victims of rape in our Military, yet more men are raped than are women.
In 2012, nearly 14,000 active military men were assaulted by men, along with over 12,000 women. All of this is despicable, all of this calls for aggressive and public reprisal and punishment. Yet, virtually no one has been talking about it.
Why is this? Why has this not been dealt with swiftly and cleanly?
Stepping back for a moment and looking at the insidious breadth of institutional man-on-man rape in this country, I have never fully appreciated nor understood why we—as a culture, as media professionals, as journalists—seem to look the other way in the face of these myriad ruined lives … being ruined right before our eyes, daily.
When I see on television or read about young men being sent to prison, I know that kid is going to be someone’s bitch within the week—possibly the property of many. In prison, he risks having his teeth knocked out for better service. It’s violent, it’s cruel and unusual, it’s unacceptable. Out of prison, it is never discussed.
In my own experience of four long days in LA County Jail, I sensed the extremely heavy tension in that place … and I sure as hell didn’t take a shower. I was already on crutches, and the weak go first. Not interested.
In our military, men who have sworn service to this country, who have committed several years if not the rest of their lives to honor that commitment, can find themselves the victims of sexual aggression and assault—then have no where to go. Afraid to be seen as weak, unwilling to deal with the implications of sexual orientation or the disparaging accusations of failed loyalty, these men don’t report the assault.
It seems redundant and even cliché to point out that male rape is rarely about sex and is rarely done by homosexuals … though homosexual guys are of the primary targets in prison, a dynamic that, when translated into mainstream society and our military, seems to affect the perception of the survivor … keeping him close-mouthed.
Men who do report, who speak up and seek justice, all too often find themselves the brunt of the pressure, the focus of relentless and uncharitable scrutiny, their own careers called into question or ruined.
Shame.
So, why are our leaders—and, by leaders, I mean block-by-block, clique by clique, posse by posse, city by city, legislature by legislature and service branch by service branch—unwilling to address this, head-on?
Is this the residual fear of the barely-latent macho culture, of which the military may be one of the last bastions? Outside the military, is it possible that this perspective will fade with the passing of the baby-boomers?
I’m hoping so. In my own experience, I don’t sense a sexual defensiveness in the current 20-somethings, amongst the thinking millennials … There seems to be, among the demographics now entering adulthood, an inherent acceptance of diversity and disparity that results in almost astonished compassion at societal dynamics that have grown out of intolerance and ignorance for decades. I’m thinking that, with a life- and worldview in this vein, our culture(s) will evolve into something less prejudicial and judgmental. It’s a Dream.
In recent months, a few brave men have stepped up to publicly speak out as survivors of sexual assault in the military. These men are exceptionally courageous, I believe, comparable to the early women—any woman, really—who took the step of testifying in court against their assailants. Exposing oneself as victim/survivor is an enormous, intimate act. For a man, the stigma is exacerbated with our own culturally insidious negative implication and ancillary effect.
In recent weeks, President Obama has given voice and direction to Pentagon Leadership, calling for immediate and aggressive change in the way in which these cases are handled, taking treatment and trial of these incidents out of the chain-of-command and handling them as Criminal Offenses. To their credit, the Military Leaders have embraced this attitude and it would seem that such aggressive reform is imminent.
I certainly hope so.
But what of society? What about us? We, as Men, must embrace responsibility for addressing the jocular, political incorrectness of rape jokes, in and out of prison, and call one another out when we slip.
Seriously, what used to “feel” okay simply is not: with enlightenment comes responsibility.
When I hear “fag” or “faggot” or “that’s so Gay” (this last of which I’m hearing less and less…), I tend generally and in a civil but strong manner to confront and correct the speaker. (I’m a big guy, the risk to my physical being is low). These words are not acceptable, so must we coach one another on the damage we’re perpetrating on ourselves by the acceptance or overlooking of words and actions that undermine human dignity.
I come from a Country (& Western!) background, raised in the mountains of Oregon. In the evolution toward City Boy and World Citizen, I still remember the day I learned what I was actually saying when using the term “jew you down,” and I became deeply ashamed of myself and my ignorance as I learned it. But I learned it. On that topic: only recently was I assisted in appreciating the genesis of “gyp,” a term now no longer in my vocabulary.
We learn as we go; we also teach what we learn.
I’m not one for political correctness for political correctness’ sake. Though, as I continue to make my way through this life and gain deeper appreciation for the disparate wonders of this world, I sometimes find I must let go of points of view that I’d never seen as wrong or inappropriate, before. We get what we get when we get it; sometimes, that with which we have been raised, thus with which we feel quite comfortable, reveals itself to be just wrong … through no one’s fault.
But, once y’know, y’gotta go with it.
Photo: Julie Jacobson/AP
Could you please put a “print this article” button on your website. Not everyone has Internet access. But those that do can print out articles and spread the information around more easily to others.
By the way, some years ago (2003/2004) here in the UK there was a scandle in the army about lesbian/homosexual rape and other violence. It happened at a barracks called DEEPCUT BARRACKS.
I think Deepcut barracks was eventually demolished. There are various website articles on this incident that you can easily find online.
See: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-150601/The-Deepcut-rape.html
Thank you, Joan, for the apology and explanation of how you meant “man up”; I just wanted to point out that this phrase has become one of the worst in the ears of most male rape survivors, as it is often paired up with victim blaming, dismissive, and/or silencing language. I think we largely agree except on our definitions of what constitutes sexual harassment and sexual assault and whether or not new laws are needed. I see the honor system you described as subjective and faulty, so new laws are perhaps needed to fix the problems. You seem to see… Read more »
WRR, I would feel very uncomfortable with people in my space if it happened to me too and be very conscious of ‘victim-blamers’. That’s not our intent. Don’t feel you have to answer this, but as far as reporting this, what did you do? To arm yourself against these ankle-biters, Betty Freidan author of Feminine Mystique and her cohorts inspired this litigious trend. She wanted to raise awareness to subtle forms of discrimination and victimization, that “keep the woman down.” This backfired. This thought-process was the genesis of all the sentivity training, words like hostile work environment, quid pro quo,… Read more »
I understand what you are saying, Joan. To a degree, I can agree with it. I’ve certainly experienced this “because I am male” guilty until proven innocent style of culture. The problem is, I don’t have your faith in this honor system. I’ve experienced and read many more instances where the motive was “protect our own” and the one being protected is all too often the perpetrator and not the victim. I suppose it’s a moot point, as I am not in the military and I have no vote in what the military does. I only know how many male… Read more »
Kile, this is my last post on this site, but I will keep reading the articles and WRR yours as well. I wanted to thank you for this and say I never intended to take anything away from you or real issues lurking underneath. This discussion took a couple wild twists and turns, but those were exactly what we needed to flesh out these issues. I am truly grateful. Over the last two years, I have grown a tremendous respect for the guys. People like ogwriter, Jules, Archy, Danny, Hank, Tom B, wellokthen, flyingkal, and more have opened their minds… Read more »
Joan, I acknowledge you for participating with integrity and with the full commitment of expressing your point of view without sarcasm or vitriol. You have added a great deal of substance to the conversation and maintained a respectful posture, throughout. I think your presence has been enlightening. As to W.R.R., I’ve shared with you how deep is my respect for you and how awed I am by your courage and steadfastness.
Joan, i had stopped posting as well but will continue to read. Just didnt want to see. You go without my thanking you for your greatly appreciated input and comment. Thank, you brought a glimmer o hope that things may change for the better, take vare.
Ps …please excuse the typing errore. Guys that have carpenter fingers dont do well typong on one of these phones.
I wish you could/would stay but if you decide you must leave then peace be with you and take it easy. And thanks from dropping by.
Joan, thank you again for being kind. For my view though, “holy rollers” are doing more harm than good these days in the USA. A protest sign I saw said it all for me: “Your religion is not my government.” The politicians need to get out of women’s vaginas and out of people’s bedrooms. LGBTQ will someday have full rights, and the GOP’s “War on Women” really needs to stop and go away. I respectfully must add that religious talk generally triggers me, as it does many survivors who were abused by priests, preachers, and people to claimed to be… Read more »
Thank-you, glad to help. You all help me too. GROUP HUG~!
Said it was my last post, but I thought an update may be helpful.
Guys and gals, please be aware of what this hyper-vigilant environment has created. Hysteria turned into a fully comprehensive anti-male law, virtually overnight. Please see if any women and men would like to volunteer their efforts to fix this and get it repealed. Men really are guilty until proven innocent. It became Public Law 113-4 on 3/7/2013.
H.R.11 — Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2013
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c113:H.R.11:
W.R.R., I must acknowledge you for your calm, articulate and steady, stalwart and relentless representative participation in this discussion. Your acuity is awesome, your equanimity sublime in the face of the volatile and the extreme. Aspirational.
Kile, well said. WRR you bring great credit upon yourself. We owe you a debt of gratitude. We need to fix this, if no other reason, than you.
Before I forget, Joan … thank you for your service. And to all other Vets, thanks. Your service is GREATLY appreciated. Ball tapping is no more then a “gotcha” moment. Note that ball tapping in generally done when the guys are clothed and when the recipient is caught off guard. I think the show is called “College Humor” which are video pranks that people send in and are seen as funny. A good half of the videos are guys having their balls crushed and slammed. Ball busting has become a fad and in the videos ere, very popular. Yes, there… Read more »
Tom B, you do realize that having your balls crushed can kill you, right? There have been deaths in fraternity initiations where a stripped naked and paddled ass victim has been hit so hard that it burst his testicles and the young man died. Why is this necessary to do to somebody? Would you risk a murder charge to play this “harmless game”?
Thanks Tom, whatever you guys do in ball-dept is fine by me, I just don’t want people getting hurt. But I’m with Hank on reducing legislation that micromanages our boys’ behavior. The hypersenstivity and petty laws are the things that are chipping away at men’s credibility in society. Here’s a dumb news story that speaks to men’s weakened credibility. Shortly after the Sandy Hook shootings a father dropped his son off at school with birthday cupcakes. The cupcakes had plastic soldiers with guns. The teacher instructed the father to remove the cupcake toppers, because she thought it sent the wrong… Read more »
Why do people want to minimize sexual assault as “military games of locker room grab-ass”? Why do these “macho” men (mostly those in the military or in sports) need to grab other men’s ass and balls? If they did it in a parking-lot or supermarket, it would be sexual assault. What makes a locker room or shower exempt? If this isn’t pent-up same-sex curiosity, why else do they want to do that? Quite often these “grab-ass and balls” macho people are the same ones who beat homosexuals near to death because they are homophobic and they hate and fear them.… Read more »
WRR, the main problem that I see is the administration and bureaucratization of everyday life. When we see a military that punishes relationships between officers and enlisted (even if completely legitimate,) that proscribes the things Joan mentioned (I had no idea – Article 133/134 [catchall article?],) or calls locker room grabass “sexual assault,” we have a problem. Basically Canada and the Scandinavian countries have personal-life administered themselves into a panopticonic iron cage, and I don’t want to see it happen to us. Weber and Foucault warn against such total administration, and I agree. It’s “un American.” The military, especially, is… Read more »
Hank, I’m sorry, but that made no sense to me at all? I don’t even know what you’re saying, let alone how it applies to my comment or question? Nobody should be grabbing another person’s genitals or ass anywhere, if that person doesn’t want that intimate contact. Somebody not wanting that contact and it happening to them anyhow is the definition of sexual assault, whether it happens in a civilian locker room or a military locker room. But again, I apologize that I simply can’t understand your reply or how it relates to my comment or question?
WRR, with all do respect. The military culture is built on respect and trust. It’s not like you portray..a bunch of groping men…these guys are just like you before they enter. They’re uneasy, sceptical, squeamish, learning new rules fast, and physically and mentally pushed to edge everyday. 50 guys may only have 15 min, to shower, shave, and get to work…they don’t have time to monkey around. Our training is some of the best damn training in the world. I didn’t trust it either, nor did I trust the culture, until I went through it myself. So I don’t expect… Read more »
Joan, with all due respect, you didn’t answer my question, you skirted it to defend the military. If these soldiers have fifteen minutes to shower and get going, why are they stopping to pants somebody or grab his balls or ass? Why would they want to grab that way? In sports, in my high school, these things were done to humiliate. I was a favorite target of the jocks and what they did wasn’t “horseplay”, it was sexual harassment and sexual assault. I understand military people wanting to defend the military. But real rapes are being committed by soldiers on… Read more »
WRR, I’m truly sorry for the crap you’ve had to endure, if I could heal it I would. The definition of ‘legitimate’ offenses needs to be challenged here, because we cannot see the real offenses through the BS. When bra strap snapping and ball tapping is in the same category as rape. We have a problem! How can we give men channels to report it, to penalize it, to eliminate it, respectfully, when the news is making rape a common household term. Men across this globe are on the defense. All the hype makes harder for men to report and… Read more »
So ball tapping isn’t unnecessarily touching another man’s gentials without invitation? Snapping a bra strap is not even close to touching genitals without being asked to. I said I understand why you want to defend the military, and I meant it. But who defends the soldier who is raped? Also, sexual assault that doesn’t go as far as rape can be pretty hideous to endure, too. Male on male rape and sexual assault happens in the military. Not all enlisted and not all officers are people too honorable and in-this-together to commit these crimes. Yet still, my question is unanswered.… Read more »
WRR, I think what Joan and I may be saying is (at least this is true for me) we have seen the problems with “victim feminism,” where an emphasis on women’s powerlessness is emphasized, and we don’t want to see men adopt this too. Whenever I see men bemoaning that men’s abuse by women isn’t emphasized more, I wince. Paglia, Roiphe, and Wolf (all women) have written good things about women emphasizing their victimization, and how it’s disempowering. I think that if men do this too, it will help make them passive, and passive aggressive (many male feminists are like… Read more »
I do appreciate your being civil, Hank (and Joan, though not to lump you both together) and while I might see what your point is this time, I still don’t feel my original question has been even considered. Why do straight men in the military choose to grab genitals and ass of a fellow male serviceman without invitation, and dismiss this as horseplay or a bonding “game”, and why do they appear to cherish this so much that they are willing to silence real victims of rape and sexual assault? Why are they so willing to see an end (before… Read more »
WRR, I think the key is to educate people about bullying, which I think is what you’re talking about, not consensual grabass. I suggested way above why some young men might enjoy such horseplay– flirting with/establishing boundaries around homosexual impulses (if they’re straights.) I think that anyone in any organization should be able to complain about bullying, and have something done about it. But I have never liked the war on sex, which always seems to have an extra twist on it for us. So I don’t think a sergeant, say, who sees a couple of PFCs or Specialists laughing… Read more »
At least that makes some sense, Hank, thank you. My point is, keep this “game” between those who think nothing of it, but respect those who don’t want any part of it. If two guys snap towels and both see no problem, fine. If somebody does object, though, I hope they would be respected and not bullied worse because they dared to object. This is where the problem lies. Beyond that, I thank you also for your service. Happy Memorial Day to you.
Currently, it sounds like your military folks are the only ones willing to protect the victims and defend men’s honor at the same time. But the rest of the world is ready to throw all men under the bus tires and take the easy route. They’ll go on a witchhunt and doubt every man’s integrity by slapping new genital cuff legislation on you, simply because your a man. And all they do is marginalize assault, abuse, or rape by making it an equivalent to bra-slapping or name calling. You can see why I’m pissed. Obviously, there are people in power… Read more »
“What I’d like to say to women is, shut your mouth and know your role. So we can handle these tough issues for men. This is not a matter to just brush off because we don’t want to hurt her feelings. ” Huh? Do you mean when the debate is about male issues? I am confused at these 2 lines. Dunno about other men, but if anyone tries to grab my genitals they may end up with an elbow to the face. Don’t do it unless you ask first, some may enjoy it but others hate it. I use to… Read more »
Thank you for this, Archy, and I agree; this is exactly my point. If I don’t want to have my genitals grabbed, and some jerk grabs them, he’s getting a fist in his face. I’d be livid if somebody told me “It’s just horseplay, man up.”
Joan, I was confused about the quote Archy mentioned too….
Archy and WRR to respond to both of you. “anyone tries to grab my genitals they may end up with an elbow to the face” That’s the whole point, men establish personal boundaries in the military and develop into good leaders. Most times this happens without needing an elbow in the face. Archy/WRR, manning up/standing up is a leadership quality. Leaders rise and establish a respectful tone to honor other’s boundaries and take personal responsibilty. He/She basically communicates, this is harmful, we’re a team, and I will not tolerate harm on me or my team…or there will be consequences. Much… Read more »
I think you are saying that you want women to stand up for themselves and not involve the brass so often for minor stuff? I can kinda agree with that, people should learn to stand up for themselves but I think even if the brass is involved it shouldn’t be a minor incident gets extreme punishment but more of a proportionate system. If someone is goofing around and another doesn’t like it then try lesser methods to punish unless it’s a serious offense. No point hanging someone out to dry because they overstepped when that overstepping was seen as ok… Read more »
“I think you are saying that you want women to stand up for themselves and not involve the brass so often for minor stuff?” Archy, Yes, but the REVERSE is happening. Both men and women are getting the brass involved with these minor offenses and playing “victim feminization’ and calling it discrimination or assault. (lest we forget, THAT IS A SERIOUS ACCUSATION and it doubts your integrity, character, intentions, honor and threatens you with legal penalties) The Brass and men are caving into this ‘victimization’ that’s seeped in from our hyper-sensitive, sue-happy, civilian culture. (It’s Betty Friedan thinking!! Yippie! Her… Read more »
Archy, I very much agree with this statement: “I find it pretty fucked up that people grope each other as horseplay unless they’re dating.” There should be no genital touching or groping unless it’s between consenting adults who want to engage in sex. A towel snap or bra snap should not involve genitals at all. Joan, the term “man up” has some really ugly uses against male rape victims. Such as “I was raped.” “Man up, you pussy!” And so on…. I have serious doubts that this honor system is the same honor I value. With male and female soldiers… Read more »
First, Joan, thank you for your service, and Happy Memorial Day to you. I see your point and I do agree that rape and sexual assault should not ever be “equal” to bra-snaps or name-calling. My problem is, as I said to Hank, that if a person isn’t into these “games” and feels bullied or assaulted, humiliated, then it is not okay to continue including them in it, or to bully them further or mock them for objecting. If soldiers respect each other, they should respect the guy who doesn’t want his genitals grabbed, no matter how harmless the grabber… Read more »
WRR, Thanks. The comment about shut your mouth and know your role, is not meant to send women to the kitchen and take away our rights. It means women need to learn how to listen and know that men and women are partners, not opponents. We need to respect each other’s concerns. Women complaining about relatively silly stuff and completely ignoring men’s concerns, which hurts all of us–on a man’s site nonetheless. Who is being rude? They can stay in their sound chamber and try to achieve a zero-sum game, but the rest of us can move forward. It’s become… Read more »
This comment does make perfect sense to me, Joan, and I agree. I’m a little surprised nobody who wants that zero-sum game has sailed in to attack you for expressing this opinion (it happens a lot around here). Thank you for caring about men having rights, too, and wanting men and women to be partners, not enemies. I see very little of that.
WRR, I truly apologize if I have offended you with my man-up comment. I stand corrected. It was not meant as a personal affront. It was meant as a license to men to not be afraid to stand up for your beliefs, regardless of the good opinion of others. P.S. Your feeling is echoed from every man on this site. “I’m a little surprised nobody who wants that zero-sum game has sailed in to attack you for expressing this opinion (it happens a lot around here).” But when you’re firmly commited in what you believe, it’s easy to tune out… Read more »
Not to minimize this but it appears that things like tea bagging, ball tapping, wedgies, pantsing could be looked at as sexual abuse?
I “wedgied” one of my attractive female students once (through street pants) when she told me that she was wearing a thong to try to seduce another male professor. We were both laughing our butts off. She had been my RA and we’d co-presented. (I knew that the other professor was gay and she didn’t.) But I’m from the 60s where all things were possible. I’m really scared of the re-Victorianization of sexuality.
Tom B, you’re right it could be. The hyper-sensitve lens and our sue-happy society views this as ‘abuse’. But there are degrees of behavior in every culture. For example, ball tapping may be considered everything from light horseplay and boys establishing natural boundaries, or rudeness, offensive, shameful, bullying, or some may even consider it illegal ‘abuse’ and punishable by law. Yikes! This is what the PC police have put in place in the military. The military folks object because it violates OUR definition. Our definition is based on establishing natural personal boundaries and confidence in our team mates. Much like… Read more »
Putting aside my personal feelings about the egregiousness of these criminal actions, I think a bigger issue is the growing erosion of public trust. I am disturbed to hear that the men and women who put their lives on the line to defend our freedoms are vulnerable to potential danger from their very own. This is unacceptable.
Since by these statistics sexual assault is five times more likely in the civilian world versus the military side…blah, blah, blah,…
Let me save you the trouble, self-deleted…
I’ve been glad to see that Senator Kirsten Gillibrand has been careful to mention address both male and female victims in articles and emails.
Actually, my vets page indicates that there’s a witchhunt shaping up about sex in the military right now. I am against sexual exploitation as much as anyone, but the attempt to make sex “the master crime” indicates deep cultural pathology, and drives us further and further away from humanistic solutions. The left wing escalation of punishment here is similar to right wing escalation of punishment for other crime. Right now, the Senate is attempting to place sexual infractions outside the normal UCMJ. This is the wrong approach.
Please explain to me how removing “sexual infractions” from the normal UCMJ is the wrong approach when so often it is the ranking officer who is doing the assaulting? Or when a person who was assaulted has to report it to someone of higher rank who then chooses not to pursue the “infraction”? Why should a person be exempt from prosecution just because they are a member of the military?
Katheryn, just to clarify UCMJ is a different beast and does not always align with USC…UCMJ is military law, not civilian law and military code of conduct is not civilian conduct. If we want to get technical, UCMJ dictates on oral sex, anal, infidelity, premarital sex, and specific rules on fraternization. Violations can be punishable by UCMJ…if anyone really pressed the issue. The military is held to a much higher legal standard and code of conduct than it appears.
Well, I do wonder if assault means guys playing squirrel. “Hey, I got your nuts right here” (Lunges for the other man’s testicles in the shower room.) That kind of thing is standard in junior high school because of the flirting with/setting boundaries around homosexual behavior. If that’s what many of these incidents are, then I’m not so worried.
Female rape research has tried to say that the rape rate is around 30% lifetime when it’s actually around 3-6%. Zero tolerance policies tend to define and exaggerate aggressive behaviors in their urge to stamp out social bads, leading to grotesque actions against individuals many times. So I'[d like to see rape operationalized here. The feds have just said all workplace sex talk is sexual harrassment. Yeah, sure…
Thank you for posting on this story, Hank; it is clear that you don’t want to believe this is true, and you are not alone. But setting up a straw-context that one can dismiss is, imho, a powerful answer to the question of how this can be happening. I think this stalwart refusal to believe that this could be true is part of the very reason that men won’t report assault. Even the Brave refuse to accept that this is possible.
Hank is right. I don’t know what proportion of the number are what he’s talking about, but I answered “yes” on the survey referring exactly to the sorts of stuff he is talking about. I’m not a “survivor” of sexual assault; it’s typical locker room grabassery. Now maybe this is a tiny proportion of the incidents referred to, but my friends currently in have been told to consider those incidents to be on par with more conventionally-recognized forms of sexual assault. That education hadn’t hit in 2011 but did in 2012. Could explain the jump, as more Marines were taught… Read more »
Wow, Rick. Characterizing comments with which you don’t agree as “condescending” would hardly render them inaccurate. These are excellent opportunities to point out to-the-moment examples of the mentality that contributes so greatly to the problem. Bullying me isn’t going to change the facts; assault is assault, it’s far bigger a problem than people know or can accept – obviously, thanks to some of these comments. I wish that shining a light of accuracy on comments such as these would serve to enlighten those who make the comments; but I’ve never actually seen that to be the case. This isn’t a… Read more »
Maybe you don’t need to be on that cross, complaining you’re being bullied. Everyone who challenges you is just in “denial” about the problem? You’re trying to shut down debate about an issue. Hilariously, I have been through what you are decrying as so terrible. And your response is…not listening to the actual person who knows whats up, but accusing me of bullying you. Classy, dude. Clearly your concern isn’t sexual violence or military culture, but ego. Oh and I’m not characterizing your comments as condescending because they’re inaccurate (though you’re psychologizing your opponents, which is a well-known no-no and… Read more »
No, Kile. But I’m an actual sociologist. So I want the operationalization (research definition of the proposed variable sexual assault) before I buy this. It should be noted that I was forced to give an older boy a blow job before puberty. He was surrounded by intimidating friends. So, I do know that male on male assault takes place. One of the problems that sometimes happens here is that people believe that they have to break through others’ denial. Not always the case.
Kile, to back up what Hank and Rick are saying, there are two things going on. There’s a culture vs. real offenses. The sexual assault prevention programs are relatively new. But the culture of chest thumping masculinty and gritty language is pretty old. As a female, I knew that I would need to adapt to male culture and to combat standards, instead of the military culture adapting to me. Like Hank said about guys playing ‘squirrel’ , F-Bomb language, calling you sissy for needing a tissue is very common, but the culture is driven by rank, honor, and loyalty in… Read more »
Damn, Joan – that’s enlightening information. Thank you. Broadening the definition so would seem, even as evidenced here, to contribute to alarmism and ultimately distract from the real problem…almost falsely inflating the numbers. The magnitude of the problem doesn’t affect the case-by-case seriousness of the incidents of actual assault and rape, of course. Frankly, imho, were the actual numbers reduced upon clarification, I would hope that would not diminish the perceived seriousness of the problem and and the vigor with which it is reformatively addressed. I hope, as this is investigated, such questions are cleared-up and we can know, accurately,… Read more »
Kile, I have zero tolerance for the ‘real’ crimes. Anyone touches a man or woman in my life, God have mercy, because I won’t. I’m sure you feel the same. But I must stand firm for men’s rights on this ‘hyper-sensitive’ culture. I too, like Rick, answered these survey questions. And according to the military surveys, I’ve been ‘assaulted’ and ‘harassed’. Which is TOTALLY false. I never felt threatened by my guys; as a matter of fact…I have never felt safer in my life. I’ve had physical contact with other soldiers too…it’s called hand to hand combat training. Sometimes we… Read more »
Wow Joan, I agree with everything you say here. Just as I’d mentioned another time, what a lot of guys do are horse play, nothing sexual about what they’re doing. We are getting to the point that society is having guys second guess everything they do or think. I’ve said this in response to other articles. Men are under a microscope, people are not only trying to figure them out (most cases don’t need to be figured out) but are also trying to redefine them and the way they think or worse yet, how they should think. Here is where… Read more »
Just as men are fools at times, women are dingbats at times…at least we own it and probably have more fun. I remember my mom telling me even back in the 70s, “these damn women today, they’re going to be sorry.” I knew what she meant, don’t listen to the hype. This sensitivity theme has created the finger pointing at men—with zero accountability. Women are pointing at men. Men are pointing at themselves. Men are calling themselves rapists and insensitive jerks, thus internalize this message and try to be more sensitive. This brief article shows how Hank and I re-framed… Read more »
Thank you Kile Ozier, for posting this. I am a male survivor of rape as a child and as an adult, though never in the military. I was raped by both men and women as a toddler and older. The sad truth is that most people just don’t want to hear that males can be and are victims of rape. Even fewer want to hear that some males are raped by females, and not always in a statutory rape situation. I believe and stand by everything you said. I just wish fear, disgust, ignorance and resentment wouldn’t blind the majority… Read more »
WHY are men not talking about it? Is it because the military is the repository of traditional tough guy machismo?
I come froma military family; my Dad was a Naval officer for 30 years and the veteran of three wars, decorated with a Bronze Star with a V for Valor. So I grew up immersed in the US military culture, and I am shocked by these numbers. While one had to assume male/male happened in the military, as it does in any all male environment, one always assumed it far less likely to occur than the rape of women. Growing up as an officer’s son, I heard a lot of stories about misbehavior among the enlisted men — and the… Read more »
My dad was Air Force, David, and infused that pride in me. This story is shattering.
David, in fairness I have to say that I also saw a shocking lack of leadership among officers in the middle sixties. I was a sergeant E-5. Abu Ghraib is an example from current day. They scapegoated enlisted personnel. But where were the officers? Also the role of agents and spooks wearing two US’es is never brought up when Abu Ghraib is spoken of. But I’m sure they were there directing some of the things.
I couldn’t find the 12 000 and 14 000 assault numbers you quoted from that military article. Of course it’s like 300 pages, so not easy to find much of anything in there.
did you see this phrase in the other article? “A recent Pentagon report said there were about 26,000 instances of sexual assault in the military in 2012. The figure represents a 35 percent increase from 2010.” and at this Link: http://bigstory.ap.org/article/most-military-sexual-assault-cases-go-unreported This: The report says that of the 1.4 million active duty personnel, 6.1 percent of active duty women — or 12,100 — say they experienced unwanted sexual contact in 2012, a sharp increase over the 8,600 who said that in 2010. For men, the number increased from 10,700 to 13,900. A majority of the offenders were military members or… Read more »
Thanks for this article. Hopefully someone in power will listen!
Kile, I’m a six year Army vet, not recently, however. Based on my observations (then, admittedly) I really doubt this is true. My guess is that there are probably a few such incidents (probably less than 50 as a guess.) The military is massively homophobic, notwithstanding the recent cancelation of don’t ask, don’t tell. I just doubt that this is very possible given that. I do think some of the stories about Navy engine room guys are likely true, given their isolation and length of time at sea. Deuterman talks about this in one of his novels, and I have… Read more »
Hank. I know that it is difficult to see an institution so respected and beloved as harboring such an insidious and ugly truth; but truth it is, and you’d best believe it. These are numbers already accepted by the Pentagon and the President; moreover, these numbers only reflect those incidents that have been reported. Given the fact that both women and (especially, and especially in the military) men are reticent to, indeed fearful of, speak out; it is highly likely that the actual numbers are exponentially larger. Believe it. The Pentagon Report: http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/FY12SAPRO.pdf The President and the Joint Chiefs acknowledgment… Read more »
Hank, I too am former service. I read the one of the studies and findings on assault…I believe it was the 2011 or 2012, I can’t recall. We need to consider the definition of assault. They include many acts of sexually motivated assault in their definition, to include verbal assault. Same thing applies to reports on female soldiers.
In no way am I condoning assault or rape of any form, but bear in mind how they qualify these studies.
The last thing men need, is to reinforce the hype-hysteria that men are a bunch of crazed violent lunatics.
I’m so glad you brought this up. I state this fact, articulating it in this manner, not to diminish what these women are enduring but to raise the level of awareness and discourse to fully include the men;…. Its pretty messed up that you even have to make this statement but I see why you did. I saw this come up on the MensRightsReddit last week. The person that posted it quite literally said nothing more than “Men account for 53% of rape victims in the US military.” One of the first comments was to tell the OP that that… Read more »
Hey, Danny; in no small part, I believe it’s conditioning. As I began writing, I felt a bit as though I was walking on proverbial eggshells in that I didn’t want the points I was about to make or the facts being cited to become obfuscated in some sort of anti-male response or be judged through a lens of Political Correctness. There is no political correctness in a conversation about rape and, as I continues writing, I found my voice and was able to lay out my pov, I think, clearly and cleanly. In college, in the ’70’s, I remember… Read more »
I think part of the reason is that to some people the “gender wars” are exactly that. Men abusing women or women abusing men. Male on male crime is inconsequential because “it’s just men doing it to themselves”. It’s actually men doing it to other men, but phrasing it that way doesn’t support the narrative. That’s also why the most vehement responses one gets are to comments that mention statistics on women’s abuse of men. It’s that scoreboard mentality that says that every time a woman rapes a man it wipes out an instance of a man raping a woman.… Read more »
Kile, thank you for writing about this. There is SO much we don’t know, so much we don’t want to know. And it’s so important.