This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Does the carpet match the drapes?”
NPR shared an Associated Press report that police in a staunchly conservative West Texas city are keeping close tabs on a young entrepreneur’s recently opened cleaning service that offers nude maids.
Lubbock police Sgt. Jonathan Stewart said the owner of Fantasy Maid Service of Lubbock doesn’t have a permit to operate a sexually oriented business and officers are watching for any violation, which would bring a $2,000 fine.
Yeah, I’ll bet those cops are watching! Probably dropping quarters on the living room floor, too.
But owner Melissa Borrett insists she’s not operating such a business. Customers pay $100 an hour for one maid or $150 an hour for two maids, and no touching is allowed, she said.
Vitally important question: “no touching” refers to customers only, right? I mean, if I hire two maids they can touch each other.
“I run a maid service,” the 26-year-old entrepreneur said. “We really just clean houses. These girls are not performers. They’re maids.”
Suddenly, the French Maid fantasy is so 2011.
I’ve worked up some ideas for Ms. Borrett’s slogan:
“Where Floor Wax Meets Bikini Wax”
“We Scrub; You Chub”
“What’s Wrong with A Little Clean Fun?”
“We Mop with No Top”
This will be an automatic exception to the “No Women in The Man Cave” rule. Dudes will be spring cleaning monthly.
I always thought it crazy when women tidy up their homes because “the maid is coming today!” Isn’t that the point of having a maid, that she cleans up your mess so you don’t have to? But now I clearly see how that logic will cause guys to make a tough decision: leave a mess so she spends more time naked in his house, or clean up first so this naked woman doesn’t think he’s a total slob? The answer depends on self-confidence: is he a Closer or not?
Regardless of whether a male customer thinks he actually has a chance to close the deal with a naked maid, he definitely needs to upgrade his towels and sheets; don’t want her thinking he’s a cheapskate.
High comedy will ensue the first time a wife comes home to find her husband sitting on the couch with his feet up as the Naked Maid vacuums between the coffee table and the couch. “Honey, I thought I was just ordering a maid maid, I swear!”
I call dibs on the rights to the L.A. Franchise.
Any other slogans for Fantasy Maid Service?
Photo by: Jacrews7