Jamie Reidy reacts to news that would-be-snipers have no more excuses as far as knowing whether they are shooting blanks.
You and your wife/girlfriend have been trying to get pregnant for a while. But her eggs just haven’t rolled out the welcome mats to your swimmers.
Maybe your boys aren’t exactly a million little Michael Phelps? HAHAHAHAHA. Good one.
As she rips the months off the calendar, though, you begin to wonder about all those extra hours in the hot tub, or extra miles on the bike, or extra hits off the bong.
But there’s no way you’re gonna rub one out dry handed and aim into a little cup at some doctor’s office, right?
Well, wanna-be-daddies, “Time Magazine’s” Bonnie Rochman is happy to announce that you can now silence that doubting voice in your head (the big one) from the comfort of your own bathroom.
SpermCheck, which is approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, assesses sperm count with 98% accuracy in 10 minutes.
Oh, if only this technology had been around for Sam Malone!
This reminds me of a classic “Cheers” episode (season 10, “I’m OK, You’re Detective”) in which Sam struggles with the fact that his girlfriend Rebecca’s inability to get pregnant might be the result of his low sperm count.
The legendary ladies’ man refuses to believe he could be packing less than a full magazine. So he turns to Carla, his no-nonsense best friend and waitress, for advice:
CARLA: You been with thousands of women over the years, right?
SAM: Right!
CARLA: How many cards do you get on Father’s Day?
SAM: That doesn’t mean anything.
CARLA: Sooner or later you’re gonna hafta face the possibility you have a low sperm count.
SAM: You’re fired!
The at-home male fertility test hits shelves in April.
Do you think a lot of guys will be getting a pre-Father’s Day gift?