1. Get your rifles out, it’s grizzly bear open season at Yellowstone. … Wait, what?
2. If you need to burn pictures of your ex-girlfriend, do not do it at her house.
3. Great Britain has a cocaine problem.
4. Conan’s debut beats Stewart, Colbert, Letterman, and Leno.
5. A Florida man wants a restraining order against the Holy Trinity of Jesus, Obama, and Tim Tebow.
6. A primer on traditional archery? Why not?
7. We’re not bad listeners, you just need to learn how to tell a story.
8. Finally, the armless-prepubescent-sailor-nymph-shaped guitar I’ve always wanted.
9. Remember that whole global warming fad from a few years ago? Yeah, it might still be a problem.
10. The best protest in sports history.