Good morning, gentlemen. Here’s what’s good feeding for you on this fine Friday morning.
Japan Releases Chinese Tugboat Captain Back to a Supremely Pissed Off China
Zhan Qixiong, a Chinese fishing captain who was arrested by Japanese patrol boats after wandering into contested waters two weeks ago, was finally released today after tensions exploded between the two countries. In the time since the arrest, China has put the brakes on all ministerial contact and instructed their tourism agencies to cancel all tourist trips to Japan.
“If Japan clings to its mistake, China will take further actions and the Japanese side shall bear all the consequences that arise,” said Chinese Premier, Wen Jibao earlier this week.
In response, Japanese prosecutor Kenji Suzuki made the official statement this morning that “considering the effect on the people of our nation and on China-Japan relations, we decided that it was not appropriate to continue the investigation.”
Iranian President Airs Conspiracy Theories at UN Talks, Makes UN Very Unhappy
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad didn’t make many friends when he spoke in front of the UN General Assembly last night. Not only did the Iranian President accuse the U.S of staging the 9/11 attacks, but he also claimed that “most Americans agree” with him.
U.S. delegates were so appalled, they actually walked out on the speech, followed by delegates from Britain, Sweden, Australia, Belgium, Uruguay, and Spain. The White House reported that President Obama considered the speech “outrageous and offensive.”
“Rather than representing the aspirations and goodwill of the Iranian people,” said U.N. spokesperson Mark Kornblau, “Mr. Ahmadinejad has yet again chosen to spout vile conspiracy theories and anti-semitic slurs that are as abhorrent and delusional as they are predictable.”
Astronauts Stuck in Space After Docking Glitch
Three astronauts—two Russian and one American—are stuck in space for a couple extra days after an undocking glitch prevented them from leaving the International Space Station. The astronauts were set to return after a six month stint in space, but the station’s computer sent a false signal indicating the hatch between station and capsule was not fully sealed. (Incidentally, this is a recurring dream of mine, which leads me to believe I missed my calling as an astronaut.)
“There is no point in rushing,” Russia’s space agency chief Anatoly Perminov told reporters this morning. Well, of course not. Who wouldn’t want to hang out in space a little longer?
Woman Executed in Virginia for First Time in Over a Century
Teresa Lewis—a woman who’d hired someone to kill her husband and son over an insurance dispute—was executed by lethal injection this morning in Virginia. The execution marks the first time that a woman has suffered the death sentence in the state for over a century (and the first time in five years in the U.S.). Her last words were to her stepdaughter, “I just want Kathy to know I love her. And I am very sorry.”