We don’t suggest that it should be the determining factor in your decision to get a vasectomy, but there’s something quite amazing about a movement that not only helps save the planet, is good for children and is fair to women, but also makes sex better. Okay, if not the most important, it’s certainly the most appealing. It probably is the most important …really.
The truth is, men aren’t resistant to family planning. We like to control our family size, especially if that means not getting women pregnant while engaging in casual sex. No, it’s not family size that holds us, but the fear that a vasectomy will lower our sexual desire, our prowess, our potency, and our purpose. Mostly, we’re afraid women won’t find us attractive or worse, won’t want to sleep with us. I know it’s not openly discussed in family planning circles, but men have a real fear that we’re not quite as good in bed as we’d like to think. And it’s probably true.
However, the fact is a vasectomy doesn’t have anything to do with our capacity to make love. If you’re a good lover, you’ll be a good lover after a vasectomy. If you’re not, it won’t help either. That said, Dr. Stein twice surveyed 400 men one year after their vasectomy. He asked questions like; quality of your erection, capacity to please a woman, sensation, pleasure, etc., etc. and each time about 90% said it made no difference. 7% said it made it better. 2% felt it was slightly worse and under 1% apparently had gone from a Romeo to a Ralph Kramden (lead in the Honeymooners for those who don’t know). Who knows the reasons why.
Here’s the most interesting factoid, the majority of women preferred sex with a partner who had had a vasectomy. The reasons were that they were no longer concerned about pregnancy, and not having to take hormones for contraception, they just enjoyed it more. Who can blame them? It must be a relief not to have to be the one to take on the full burden of avoiding an unplanned pregnancy. The fact of not using a condom, not to mention not feeling guilty about not using a condom, is bound to increase the pleasure in your sex life. It certainly does so for men.
There are women who fear that a man who gets a vasectomy is more likely to stray now that he doesn’t have to worry about pregnancy. Really? If worrying about pregnancy made men more faithful, well, we’d not have a rate of 50% unintended pregnancies. Let’s face it, a guy who is going to cheat doesn’t stop and think, “I should be careful.” If he’s not worried about STD’s, he’s certainly not going to be worrying about pregnancy.
In the end, a responsible man is also likely to be a more respectful one, and a more conscious man makes a better partner … and also a better lover.
So let’s raise one up for the men who get vasectomies, and the women who are the beneficiaries of them. It’s a beautiful thing to have a healthy sex life. World Vasectomy Day is all about spreading the love. So join our movement as we spread it and enjoy it.
We can’t do it alone. Join us. Visit our web page, like our Facebook page, connect with us on Twitter, and if you can, please consider supporting our crowdfunding campaign. Share your vasectomy stories, get a vasectomy if the time is right and help us spread the movement as we commit to building sustainable vasectomy programs the world over.
Donate to build a sustainable vasectomy outreach program in Kenya! We’re looking for $35,000. Will you help?
Photo: Sheila Gabeya