I know we haven’t seen things eye to eye a lot of the time. I have lied to you, I have been harder on you than anyone else, and I have been this way towards you for a very long time, and while we know the reasons for it, that doesn’t make things easier or any better.
So I have started looking at the things that I afford others, but never you. Things like compassion, understanding, an ear and appreciation for the things that deserve it. For much to long I have minimalized your accomplishments into obscurity and shone a spotlight on those failures that pepper everyone else’s lives.
I am not unique in my treatment of you, you have endured through it long before I turned a neglectful eye towards you, but that doesn’t mean that you deserve it, from others or especially me.
I am supposed to advocate for you, protect, feed, provide, nurture and care for you and I haven’t. I have looked to others to fulfill that role with little regard to who’s responsibility it truly is. I have failed you in these ways for much too long.
You see, you are the only one that I will carry with me for the rest of my life, you have been there for me through the good the bad and the ugly. Your steadfast devotion to always strive to be better, to learn more, to teach more, to not only collect but to share that knowledge and experience that has colored your life so beautifully to the point that others have wept in sympathy.
I forget where we started from, how far we have come together, and what battles, demons and devils we have conquered to get to where we are now, I forget because I get caught up in comparing where we are now, to where those who we feel are in a better place are. I tell you how we should be settled with a wife, 2 cars, kids, retirement accounts, savings accounts, the nice leave it to beaver white picket fence mentality.
I tell you this because it is what I was shown and thought was the path my life was supposed to take all those years ago.
When we failed to achieve those implanted dreams, I held you responsible, because it is easier and less painful to do so.
I didn’t know then that pain teaches, it is just as much a part of who we are as joy, anger, love and lust, and while avoiding pain for us, I caused suffering for you. Holding you to a standard that we never given a choice to be held to.
I love you for you. The highs, the lows and everything in between, you have shown compassion, understanding and all of the virtues that we have strived to learn and exemplify. You have conquered so much, and won through seemingly impossible odds, maybe not every time, but where it matters most, you have done nothing short of spectacular.
I see the changes that have happened from times past to now, and cannot help but feel a sense of pride in you, for just how far you have come and how horrid and seemingly impossible the path before you has been, I have walked it with you, carried you as you have carried me, as any great relationship exists, the mutual support of each other.
I love you, for the reasons I have written and the thousand that I haven’t even thought of. The path and journey are far from over but I couldn’t and will never desire to walk it without you.
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