Jacob Winkler realizes acceptance is the key to grace.
It is much harder to write about my darkness than to exalt the light. It is tempting to forget my lusts. To ignore the violence within me.To downplay my greed and laziness. I possess every negative quality that a human can have, in some form or another. I have my unique struggles, but they are not that unique. And no one has a struggle with evil that I am completely exempt from. This is how God made me.
Every morning observant Jews pray the following:
Blessed art Thou
O Lord, Our God
Master of the Universe
Who forms Light
And creates Darkness
And creates All.
I trust God to make Peace with the Light and the Dark. I trust God to guide me in doing my part in this work. I depend on God’s Grace. The more I can look into my darkness and accept it, the less scary it becomes. I can see the energy there, the magic and even the beauty. I stop judging others as harshly when their darkness possesses them. I know what it is like to be possessed.
Can I bless the darkness? Can I bless the Creator of All who includes every form of suffering in that Creation? I say the words and prepare myself for whatever shadows fall upon my life.
I say yes to fear and depression. I say yes to grief. I say yes to guilt and to feeling ashamed. I say yes to hurting others despite my best intentions. I say yes to being hurt. I say yes to anger and hatred. I say yes to pride and indifference.
God says yes to everything. Nothing is left out.
I say yes to God.