♦◊♦
Hug and kiss.
My little one runs to me when I get home with a crazy hug and kiss that are worth the price of admission in life. The big guys still hug me whenever they leave the house.
♦◊♦
There’s nothing that isn’t common sense here, but there is something that is magical. As adults, we get stressed out, confused, and depressed. Kids (and dogs) have something to teach us about the simple goodness of life. Just listen to them and you will be A-OK!
Sometimes I worry I kiss my daughter too much. She’s 18 months old and it’s been like this since the day she was born. It’s like her cheeks call out to me and I know the time she’ll actually let me do it is fleeting. I used to nap with her on my chest every single afternoon when she was a few months old and only wish we still could. Now that she’s busy and moving around, I cherish the times she’ll actually sit still long enough to be read to or have quick cuddle. In fact, I selfishly put… Read more »
This is complete faggotry. It’s great that you want to whip out wallet pics of your kid. But this entire article could be covered in one sentence: Love your child. And if you need instructions on how to do that, odds are, you’re going to do a poor job regardless.
Great stuff, Tom. One bit of advice I’d like to add is really simple: offer physical contact. Be available for touch. Get down at children’s hight. Sit close. Allow kids to climb on your lap during dinner or over coffee. Sit next to them in the sofa. Allow them into the bed in the morning. And more that anything – be comfortable with touching them and them touching you. Let them know you like it, that it’s OK to seek your touch if they like. My daughter is nine. She still hug and snuggle and so on a lot. Sometimes… Read more »
Great article. I have been and continue to be a full contact father to my now 16 year old son. We still hold hands on a regular basis. I am so glad to hear that there are others out there who are the same. Thanks for sharing.
Jack
One more thing: there’s a great book called The Fatherstyle Advantage by Kevin O’Shea. It provides great insight into the wonderful gift of dads’ physicality!
Thanks Dan for sharing this reference. I have stumbled onto your twitter feed this morning and am happy I did. So glad to see this great community of dads connecting with each other. Makes me feel like a “superdad”, less isolated. Thanks all.
Tom, Great, great, great post. I have two more for you: 1. Baby massage. Our first daughter went through a hellish time for about 3 months, where she would cry unceasingly between 1 and 3 every night. (At 21 she has intestinal issues, which we assume must have been related.) We could not settle her. Indeed, it was hard not to get frustrated with her and with the powerlessness of not being able to console her. But I made up for that hell with the heaven of massaging her chub-babiness. On a blanket or towel, in a sunny patch of… Read more »
Great stuff Dan.
You would enjoy this video which was a big hit here on the site by my buddy
Todd M:
https://goodmenproject.com/families/i-blow-dry-my-sons-hair/
Tom, Your story reminds me of the days when my son Connor was also on the bottle. I worked nights at a local hockey rink so I would not be home until late at night. Once I walked into the house it was my shift. I LOVED rocking Connor as he drank his bottle and yes I too would stay in his room after he finished and then would fall asleep. When my ex wife asked for a divorce she said I could have any of the furniture. All I wanted was the chair that I rocked Connor in. Today… Read more »
I love this post, Tom! A great and powerful reminder of the importance of a physical relationship with our children. My toddler daughter and I played one of our favortie wrestling and ticking games today, “Don’t Tackle Me Dad!”, and we both laughed and smiled throughout.
A great post. Reminds me of a quote I heard not long ago that definitely resonates – “Your kids never tell you it’s going to be the last time they sit on your lap to read a story with you.” Take none of those times (or any of these other great suggestions by Tom) for granted.
well I am proud to say that my husband is a true full-contact father, i’m so proud of him!
Derek, Mervyn, Lance & Todd. Wow thanks to you all. After some more controversial posts it’s nice to get some uniformly positive energy going her on the blog. Todd welcome aboard. You can follow along at @tmatlack. Would love to hear from you regularly. Lance awesome list. Yes to all but specially the singing part. I can’t carry a tune to save my life but I always used to sing “Amazing Grace” to my first boy, now 14, when putting him to bed as a baby. It felt very special to me to sing how much I loved him then… Read more »
Thanks so much Tom. Simply beautiful. So often I have thought the things that you have put into lovely language here.
“Difficulty with words,” Tom. Really? I’ve been reading you for months; your feelings flow beautifully out of everything you’ve written, and they particularly resonated as I read this piece. When I was a new father, one of my colleagues—Australian born—advised me, “Don’t let them get you changing those nappies!” I was kinda stunned, for by that time I’d probably already changed my baby daughter’s Pampers 400 times. And I knew that the experience was creating a bond between us. Over the weeks and months ahead, I would see, first hand, how she gathered strength and size and pondered what kind… Read more »
Emotionally compelling and informationally rich post. My 7 yr old daughter is the only oen, whose diapers I changed and connected with an an infant. Her mom, now my ex wife, was sick with esclampsia so I was the first person to feed her, change her, get her to sleep, bath her, etc. Those fist 3 months of bonding made my daughter and I connected for life. I woild add 4 more things. 1) sing to your child. My daughter still asks about those Beatles songs she heard as an infant. Whenever Abbey Road gets played in the car her… Read more »
Tom, you have a new reader–I love this post. My girls are now budding teenagers. I remember fondly how I would hold them as babies. To be honest, to this day I love nothing more than snuggling up with them on the couch, or just hugging them and hearing about their day after we all get home.