Sherri Rosen offers some advice to younger men who are interested in dating an older woman.
Being what they call an older woman, I have been dating younger men for quite awhile. Here are some of my suggestions.
1. When you make the initial contact, if it is just casual sex that you are interested in please be upfront about it. If you are straightforward it allows both of you to begin with the same expectations. If not it’s a waste of time for both of you.
2. To introduce yourself—don’t text. Texting is fine, I’m not against it, but when it comes to dating and meeting in the beginning, don’t text everything to arrange dating. It’s a real turnoff. Offer to call her on the phone.
3. If the woman offers to call you first, know that she is not afraid of making the first move and doesn’t conform to the old traditional ways. Also, for safety sake, many women prefer making the first call.
4. Don’t tell her “you look good for your age.” Yuck, that’s the last thing she wants to hear. Tell her she looks great! Period.
5. If it’s honesty and directness you are seeking, know that many older woman come out way ahead in this area. They have nothing to lose by being and showing who they genuinely are.
6. The older woman is probably used to dating. She was brought up that way. So if you pay for her on the first date, even if she offers to pay her share, you’ll be showing respect. You just seem really cool when you do that.
5. Communicate with her, especially on the first date. Don’t make it an interrogation. It’s uncomfortable for both, and there’s no way of having any kind of fun or spontaneous conversation. If she feels you are totally into learning about her that is a real turn on, especially if you have a sense of humor.
6. Don’t misrepresent yourself to her. If the picture you have online is what she will see in person, don’t come walking in looking nothing like your photo, either being 50lbs heavier or if the photo was taken when you were 20 years younger. This obviously goes both ways. Just like you don’t want someone to misrepresent themselves to you, don’t misrepresent yourself to them.
7. She will want to meet you in a public place. Allow her to make arrangements to meet, mainly in her hood. I notice it’s a turn on to have the man go out of his way to meet a woman.
8. If you say you are going to call her then call. If you can’t then text her and make a plan for another time. The same goes if you are going to meet at a certain time, and you are going to be late, text her and let her know.
9. Neither one of you knows ahead of time where this will go. No expectations. The most important is in getting to know one another, having fun, being honest and upfront. Don’t say you want to see her again if you are full of sh*t. If you cannot say it in person then send a short email.
10. There is no stigma to dating older women. Men have been dating younger women for ages. But once you go that route, if you feel uncomfortable don’t do it. And don’t do it because you are looking for a mommy. We’ve had plenty experience of raising children, we don’t need to be a mommy to you.
11. Know that many of us are quite experienced in relationships and we know how to treat a good man.
12. Always have a photo up on your profile site. No woman wants to respond to a ghost. Give us at least some sample of what you look like.
13. Please don’t make your profile sooooo long that it will end up boring us because we can’t get through it, and even though you may look good, you will be passed by because of overwhelm.
14. Most cases if a woman doesn’t respond to your first contact, it means she’s not interested. Don’t keep pestering her. Even if she ultimately engages, it will come to an unhappy conclusion or result in her blocking you from her site.
15. Many of us are confident, used to being alone and on our own, so don’t feel that we want to be with you every minute of the day, because we don’t. We are used to having lots of space in a relationship.
16. Hey men, if you are going to see a woman in another state for the first time, make sure you know what you are doing. You need to keep as safe as a woman does.
17. Many of us had much experience with BS and we know when it’s coming at us. Don’t try to impress but be real. That’s very sexy.
18. We know at this stage about not changing the other person but excepting them the way they are. Be aware that if we see something ain’t working for us, but workin for you and we can’t work it out, that’s probably the end of the relationship. It’s more fair to do that than to try to change the other person, do you agree?
19. If she’s desperate and is afraid of being alone, stay away, far, far away. Unless you are the same way as she is.
20. If you have children, don’t be afraid of introducing her to them — assuming your children and you are comfortable with meeting people you are dating. Chances are, she has had a lot of experience in having fun with children.