I’ve had to relearn what it takes to feel confident.
After working from home for months, I’ve forgotten how intimidating the office can be. From the meetings to emails to walk-in clients, it’s a lot. With so much activity going on, there isn’t a feeling of peace.
In search of serenity, I’d doubled up on four little things to give me a confidence boost. Sometimes, I overdid it with #3 but who cares; I’m feeling confident.
If your readjustment to the office is awkward, here are some subtle signs your confidence will possibly be okay.
Don’t worry. None of these are inherent — some are sitting in your drawer.
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1. You take pride in your attire
Despite what society tells you. You don’t think you need expensive clothing, loud jewelry, trendy shoes, or a slim athletic figure to be confident.
You know, you only need to feel comfortable in your skin to feel confident in your surroundings.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates doesn’t dress with swag to impress anyone.
Jeff Bezos, based on photographs, has upped his style from khakis and blue button-downs. But he still doesn’t wear anything flashy just, clean, tailored suits.
Elon Musk’s go-to style is simple. He usually wears a plain tee and jeans.
Emotional control builds mental toughness. If you can regulate your feelings in new situations, this tells me you can choose to calm yourself down. Your emotions aren’t in control of you.
Confident people control what they can: their emotions. In some ways, our clothes become the emotional blanket some of us held onto tightly as a kid.
When visiting new places or toxic people, wear something that gives you comfort. You never know when a triggering situation can happen; carry a comfort zone memento with you.
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2. You wear good underwear
Never underestimate the power of good underwear. Based on the irrational nightmares of characters in television shows, I know this is a must.
It’s the difference between shame or pride if caught with your pants down. It’s one less thing to confirm feelings of inferiority- if someone starts looking at you as less than.
The thing is an inferiority complex, grows from moments of insecurity and embarrassment. A moment you felt ashamed about your body and the way it was. That was not okay.
Today, though, you don’t let the thought of the people picturing you in your undergarments make you shy.
If you’d hate for a new boyfriend or girlfriend to see you in raggedy underpants, you don’t wear it. Because you know, perhaps from experience, that you’ll remember what you’ve got on. And, at the most random times, you’ll wonder if people know it too.
Kim Kardashian wouldn’t lounge around in shabby underwear for social media. If anything, she has built a brand around good-quality shapewear and intimates. New underwear is a good way to treat yourself — and I’m sure Kim would agree.
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3. You smell good
Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Lebron James, and many other celebrities have fragrance lines. This isn’t a coincidence. Perfumes and colognes can give confidence, change our attitude, and remind us of people.
“This is due to the power of our olfactory cortex, the part of our brain that registers scents and places them with memory,” explains herbalist Caity Flanagan. “When we smell a flower or favorite familiar scent, it triggers memories and creates a shift in our limbic system, which impacts our mood and emotions.”
When I step into a room, I want to give a good impression. When someone greets me, I want to enter their personal space without fear. The best way to do this is to smell good.
Smelling good means shame can’t play on your mind while in crowds. You can make the best of networking opportunities and meet people. But good hygiene alone won’t prevent stink.
For anyone who gets stress sweat when nervous or anxious, you know, it can be strong. That doesn’t mean you can’t smell good in stressful situations. Try to excuse yourself to calm your racing heart and freshen up.
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4. You say honest and empathetic things to yourself
In her book Everything is Figureoutable, Marie Forleo explains that perfectionism isn’t about high standards. It’s about fear. Fear of the ridicule failure and mistakes can bring into our lives.
If you’re as confident as you say you are, the way you talk to yourself changes. When I’m fearful, I tell myself why I can’t do something. And I believed it, so the task never gets done.
If I want to do something, I tell myself I can. Repeat affirmations and put on some music. These actions feed into my positive beliefs and create a space that encourages action.
In moments of doubt, be the corny, nice friend to yourself. Say the most reassuring thing you can about the situation. Not all celebrity quotes are profound or specific.
The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. — David Beckham
Your self-motivating quote doesn’t have to be either. Say something your mind needs to hear to feel relieved. Your ability to see silver linings is a good thing.
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Final Thought
If you do any of these four things, you’re controlling the one thing you can: yourself. You’re giving off an impression you feel comfortable being remembered by. You feel like you’re enough because little things in your life are going well. You aren’t afraid of chance encounters because you smell good. And lastly, you motivate yourself when in a tough crunch.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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