“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away my childish ways” ~Saint Paul
Being a man in the 21st century is fraught with many hurdles and challenges because of some of the unrealistic expectations society places on men, not to mention, those imposed on them by their loved ones, significant others, business associates and colleagues. Today’s man is expected to have it all together and his life completely figured out by a certain age and considered a failure by some if he doesn’t. It’s no wonder, many men experience a great deal of dissatisfaction with themselves and brand themselves as losers when they feel like they don’t measure up or pale in comparison to other men around them.
Most men equate manhood and success with having a hefty bank account, a harem of women admirers, a lucrative job or business, and the ability to comfortably provide for their loved ones. This misperception of manhood is largely to blame for some of the issues that men face in today’s world and the struggle they experience with embracing their masculinity.
Most people often wonder what it takes and means to be a man. A man is not defined by his age or even his success, but more so, by his character, integrity, deeds, and emotional and mental maturity. You’ve probably heard a woman disappointedly refer to her love-interest or significant other as a man-child and wondered what she meant by that. The most common definition of a man-child is a man who is extremely immature for his age, often, as a result of being overly nurtured by his parents and not haven’t been given the opportunity to bear the consequences of his mistakes, poor choices or hurtful actions and behavior.
The following are traits that make a man come across as a man-child, and not the man he might try so hard to portray himself to be:
He fails to and doesn’t like to take responsibility for his life
Nothing screams man-child more than a man who fails to and doesn’t want to take responsibility for his life. Most grown-men derive pride and self-fulfillment from taking charge of their lives and like to control every aspect of it, apparently, not this dude! A man-child often tries to avoid responsibility at all costs and loves to have others cater to his needs and do for him what he should do for himself. This is the guy who has absolutely no problem asking his parents to co-sign a loan, doesn’t find it odd that he still lives at home with his mommy and daddy at the ripe age of 50, and thinks that’s it’s okay to let his wife be the sole bread-winner of the family while he gets to stay at home and bond with his PlayStation all day.
A man who can’t take responsibility for his own life can’t be counted on to be responsible for someone else’s and should never be depended upon to become an equal partner, parent a child or make an important decision, as that would be asking and expecting too much of and from him.
He never owns up to his mistakes – It’s always someone else’s fault
There’s a great reason this point is numero dos; a man that fails to take responsibility for his life cannot be expected to own up to his mistakes as these two things go hand-in-hand. How can you possibly expect a man who relies fully on others for his basic sustenance to own up to anything? The one thing you can count on this man-child to do is to shift the blame on others for his misfortunes, shortcomings, and circumstances. There’s no difference between this guy and the child who readily points a finger and blames those around him for everything negative that transpires around him even when it’s clearly a result of his own doing.
This is the guy that always views himself as a victim and tells his stories from that stance. It doesn’t matter that he has been fired from every single job that he’s ever had—all his bosses were out to get him and couldn’t be trusted, just as much as were all the woman he has ever dated— they were responsible for the breakdown of the relationship despite the fact that he was unfaithful to every last one of them. There’s no winning with this guy!
He lacks emotional intelligence & doesn’t know how to relate with others
A man-child’s greatest handicap is his inability to understand and share the feelings of others. This man is all about himself; because he grew up whining his way into and outta things, he didn’t have the opportunity to develop fully emotionally and therefore has a difficult time relating and empathizing with others.
He often comes across as a narcissist or insensitive jerk because he doesn’t know how to put others before himself, doesn’t understand the impact of his words and behavior on others and often acts as though the entire universe revolves around him. Don’t waste your breath quoting the golden rule to this guy; he most likely has never heard of it and will just scoff at you.
He suffers from the Peter Pan Syndrome – He doesn’t do ‘Adult’
Bingo! There you have it! This point right here brings it all home and is the main thing that a makes a grown man comes across as a man-child; he absolutely refuses to grow up! There’s nothing more infuriating than dealing with a grown man who speaks like a child, thinks like a child and acts like a child; this dude right here has definitely not put away his childish ways and would put real children to shame with of some of his antics and shenanigans.
A man-child likes things on his terms and loves to live in his own ‘little world’ where he gets to make the rules and do whatever he wants. He detests anything and everything that requires him to be an adult. This guy cannot hold or keep a job because it requires him to follow rules and meet certain expectations. He cannot be counted on to make the simplest commitment because he doesn’t like to think too far into the future and hates to be tied down by anything. This guy loves to surround himself with guys that are just as immature as himself and who think that mooning people on route 66 is still a riot at age 40—you get the gist.
If you have close contact with a man-child, get as far away from him as you can, lest he contaminates you with his childish ways and sends you to the looney bin. If you struggle with any of the above traits yourself and believe that you might be a man-child, stop reading this article right now and schedule an appointment with the closest therapist to you – seriously! Talk to someone who can help you understand why you do the things that you do and most importantly, help you overcome this condition and finally become the man you were born to be.
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.