American individualism runs deep in many of us. We like to think that we’ve accomplished everything on our own without any assistance. Every living thing on this planet is dependent upon something else. When we live our lives under the false narrative of rugged individualism it only reinforces the very problems we’re trying to escape by leaving behind the life tethered to the grid.
Five years ago my wife and I had the privilege to leave our teaching careers to pursue a simpler existence. In the beginning we had this “do it alone” notion ourselves. We began by working for room and board for others so we could pick up some much needed skills. After nearly five years of traveling and moving we’ve discovered that what we learned was so much more than building, gardening and raising animals. We’ve learned what not to do and that has made all the difference.
Most places we have lived and worked required extra help. These folks needed the help from others because in many cases they took their habits from city life and applied them to a more rural alternative living arrangement. In other words, they bit off more than they could chew. When one lives remotely the problems become more glaring because the convenience to address them isn’t available. Folks were very honest with us about the mistakes they had made along the way so we wouldn’t make them ourselves. Needless to say, we appreciated it and listened. We are forever indebted to all of our hosts for the opportunity to learn and grow as people.
Here are five things we learned by just observing others and reflecting on our own ambitions:
1. Throwing money at things instead of learning from those who have come before you isn’t a shortcut and in many cases is a waste of time and money.
Throwing money at something is what we do if we have the means. Our government has a history of doing this and so do we as citizens of this nation. It’s amazing what one can learn by taking the long way instead of the shortcut. Building and creating can teach us a great deal. Planning and installing adds to our skill sets. Simply going out and paying someone to build things for you does not give one the necessary foundation to maintain and create. Learning from our mistakes is an important step when dismantling the rugged individualist mindset.
2. Ownership is overrated and a trap.
Most people strive to own land. What they fail to see is how they become enslaved to it and ultimately trapped by it. They often buy a piece of property away from populated areas and then find themselves stuck when they need to leave or sell the property. There are many options where one can have the benefits of ownership without the entrapment of it. Intentional communities, work exchange or even squatting are options beyond traditional ownership or rent.
3. Living in community is vital.
Most solo artists in the off grid world find themselves eventually craving community or needing it to maintain their existence. We don’t live in this world alone. The history and survival of our species is all the proof required. We are social beings with social needs. Living in the sticks by oneself has a romantic feel to it but reality is often quite different. Things we can’t even imagine arise where being solo or even with just a partner can be very difficult or nearly impossible to deal with. Besides, learning from different experiences and perspectives is invaluable. One can still have privacy while living in community. I’m a living example.
4. Less is more.
Having a ton of stuff is simply perpetuating what many of us are trying to leave behind. Taking on more projects than we can handle at one time is also another bad habit carried over from mainstream living. Perfecting small areas in your new life before adding new ones is less stressful and more efficient. All things in time is wisdom worth having.
5. Be flexible.
Things break. Plans change. Life continues. Living in the moment and not getting too far ahead of yourself will have long term benefits. Planning ahead is fine as long as you can go with the flow when things need adjusting. Living in community teaches flexibility and it also requires it. Living without mainstream conveniences requires we adapt and move on. The greatest strength my wife and I have has been our ability to be flexible and know when to give our egos a rest.
Making the leap from traditional mainstream living where employment, rent, mortgages and debt rule the day to a simpler existence can be intimidating. It can be done because countless numbers of people are doing it. Taking ones time and learning from the ups and downs will go a long way. Constantly challenging the narrative you’re leaving behind is the key. Many of us keep making the same mistakes over and over again while expecting different results. If we follow some basic guidelines and observe what others have done before us, the road to liberation awaits.
Chase a different carrot.
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