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It’s a very scary time for young men, when even a harmless indiscretion like sexual assault could end up all over Twitter and leave our reputation in tatters.
And I know we have already done a lot, and this is really getting too much. From wearing pins and dressing in black at the Oscars (what is a man to wear!) and even reading feminists literature, we have done our fair share for women’s empowerment.
Yet men are still the number one barrier to feminist progress and we need to do better. It starts with making a few concrete changes in our everyday lives.
I teach classes on gender and social justice and my male students often ask me what they can do to promote these ideals. Taking inspiration from women who have said it all before, but acknowledging that men also need to stand up, here is a start:
Do most of the housework. Do you have what it takes to be a real manly man? Cook dinner every night and do all the washing and cleaning. I have no time for Russell Brand’s sh*tty excuses for not lifting a finger around the house. Russell, get in the bin.
Women have been doing it for centuries. We can start with 100 years of all-male reproductive labor and see how things are looking in 2119.
Call women geniuses. This is a title rarely bestowed on exceptionally intelligent and creative women. Girls as young as six were more likely to characterize young boys as brilliant than themselves, according to a 2017 study in the journal Nature.
Women are not just equal to men. Quite a number of them are actually far better! There are many women out there who are smarter, more creative, and more deserving of admiration than your run of the mill mediocre white guy. The true test of equality is not simply treating women equally, but demonstrating a willingness to accept female leadership and intellectual authority.
Consume culture made by women. Check your internet browser and tell me the author’s gender of the past ten articles you read. One point for every woman on the list. Do you go out of your way to listen to female artists, read female authors and watch female-directed movies? Do you champion women’s voices and promote them to your friends, particularly your guy friends? On the flip side, do you watch Woody Allen films, listen to R. Kelly and Chris Brown? Let’s put women haters out of business and stop paying for media produced by scumbags.
Stop enabling your sexist friends. We need a zero tolerance policy on all behavior that disrespects and devalues women. It can be hard to speak up in all-male spaces, particularly when the atmosphere is light-hearted and people don’t seem that serious about the offending remarks. But the standard we tolerate in our group chat is the standard we accept for men’s behavior.
Everyone is on their own journey and people have the capacity for growth and change. But we need to be honest with ourselves. None of us have clean hands. Every man has at some point engaged in regrettable behaviour that could be improved. Engaging with others to reflect on these events is a powerful opportunity for genuine change.
Don’t be fooled into thinking feminism is the enemy. There is a new generation who claim to be for “equality” but against modern feminism. It’s become fashionable to draw on evolutionary biology and cognitive science to wax lyrical about “innate” biological differences between genders and their different roles in society. But much of this is just window dressing for old prejudices that have sought to entrench male power and justify women’s position as second-class citizens.
It can be hard to accept that you have male privilege when you are living in your Mum’s basement. But living in a patriarchal society doesn’t mean you will be a CEO at 25. It means that there will be countless moments in your life where you will benefit from unearned authority and respect by virtue of your gender.
Feminists have made enormous strides in the past ten years, but so have misogynists.
To see real change, the kind of outpouring we are accustomed to on International Women’s Day needs to be transformed into a daily practice. It has to be more than just a post about your mother and sisters on IWD. My Mum is awesome, but she is not the reason I treat women as human beings.
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