“The smart ones ask when they don’t know. And, sometimes, when they do.” – Malcolm Forbes
When it comes to understanding anyone, it comes down to how interested you are in them as a person. For many years, I’ve built my career on being the most curious person in the room and it has built lifelong friendships, business dealings, and a network of high net worth individuals. Most of all, it has opened the door to clubs and events I know I don’t fit in. In all, I make it my mantra to think like a child and ask the questions most people are afraid to ask—simply because it needs to.
What I want to share with you are my 7 Questions of Achievement that I ask my guest on my radio show. I’m sharing these questions with you because these words, arranged in this order, has made my guest ponder, cry, change their points of view on life, and so on. The biggest benefit is they feel cared about far beyond the interviews and I even have them thank me for the moment of clarity.
Something magical happens when I ask these questions and I welcome you to use them to create a deep connection with a friend, a potential business partner, or anyone you want to break the ice with. As I give you these questions, I’ll explain the psychology being applied so you can know what to expect. Let me know how it works out for you.
Question 1. Which book have you read that has moved you to action or tears?
What this question does is force the person to think hard about an emotion rather than the actual book. The book is just a tool but the feeling it provokes has a personal attachment with personal meaning. The “feel” is the gift and you’re asking them to relive that gift.
Question 2: What do you say to yourself when you need encouragement?
What makes this question effective is its placement. After you have them get internal with their emotions, you now have them focus several levels deep in their mind. This question is designed to calm their mind so they become more venerable and open up to your inquisitiveness.
Question 3: What is the one skill most people need to build for success?
At this point, you are causing a disruption. Either you will get a response of assuredness or noise. The fact that the person is limited to only one choice means they need to provide you the best answer. You can learn a lot about values here.
Question 4: Name one person that is important to you that everyone should learn from. Why did you pick them?
Now you’re moving them back to emotion. This is where you get them to like you—even love you. Moving them on a roller coaster ride so quickly causes misdirection but in your favor. Now they can reflect on a happier time, place, or person. You will see many smiles with this question.
Question 5: What is the most profound activity you’ve mastered but didn’t appreciate in the beginning?
Again, retrospection. This time, you have them challenge their belief system on what’s most important to them while learning about their world view. If you ask this question earlier, it won’t be as effective. This is a timing question and an intentional deep thought question.
Question 6: You have a pen and paper or a computer to document something new you’ve learned but can only use one. Which do you use?
This question is meant to lighten the emotional load and lift them out of deep contemplation. Up to this point, the questions have taxed the emotional and critical thinking system. We need to release the pressure. Expect to have a quick response.
Question 7: When your why for what you do is challenged, what do you do to stay focused and move forward?
This final question is designed to reward them for going on the journey with you. You’re providing a place of accomplishment to walk into so they feel safe and honored. When you ask this question at this point, you’ve extended your hand into a deeper connection. They will accept this unconsciously and you’ve just made a lifelong impression.
All in all, I’ve asked these questions over 100 guests and I’ll continue to ask them. I welcome you to become childlike.
What’s your take on what you just read? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.