Yesterday afternoon, I felt compelled to go and enjoy a couple of drafts at a local tap room and was reminded of the many times in the past, especially during the warm months, I felt that feeling—that buzz—of enjoying an altered state.
Something I had not anticipated, though, was what would come to pass not long afterward. I made a jesting comment online and a close friend immediately called me out, questioning me and challenging my motives and truths (false beliefs).
I was triggered by this. We continued conversing until it became evident, while tears streamed from my eyes, that I was bearing some old, emotional wound.
My dear friend remained with me throughout while I took time out and went for a long walk to cool off and let out the steam I had unknowingly been holding onto (most of my life). More tears were shed and I found myself afraid of my shadow, my darkness, those demons within me professing what is true.
This friend reminded me that this old energy is not me and that it is perfectly okay to let that darkness seep through. It is alright to listen and wait for what it is meant to show me; for it to reveal and express what is true. I have possessed stagnating energy, relating to substance abuse (masks) and the past, when such spirited elixirs were holding me spellbound to an illusory untruth (masking my real nature, as a sensitive, loving man).
Space was observed while I worked through the acceptance that I can be held securely while unfurling this old energy and letting that vibrant loving stream back in and through.
It can be hard to accept our past and the roles we have played. Suppose, however, that we have righted the error of our ways, through trial and error, mistakes, and unconscious behaviors, and we are willing to expend new energy to move through these challenging periods. We are granted the opportunity to, quite literally, alchemize this energy with love and compassion, while knowing and trusting that we are supported throughout this spell of liberating release.
I am so thankful for all of those who have entered my life and who have held my hand through such trying times, without faulting or judging, just accepting me as another human being, perfectly flawed and capable of becoming brand new. Giving me the chance to be what we truly are—that childlike spirit hardwired within us—our ultimate truth, seer and intuitive guide, and, perhaps at times, that inner critic we need to heed, to pursue new avenues of mystery, to learn brighter truths.
Eventually, we can let much of this old programming go—the proverbial, energetic software that never served us and was more reminiscent of our parents (as just one example) who projected their insecurities and dogmas, their moral apertures of false beliefs, onto our malleable and ever-so impressionable, young minds, hearts, and expressive spirits.
These demons are not our foe, they are us, in some form. But they remain with us until we have learned whatever necessary lessons are meant for us to experience, in this waking reality of material essence and observable evidence, irrefutably guiding us, as no other has the right to do.
How can we truly liberate our demons? We must surrender to them. We must surrender completely to ourselves when they arise and seek expression through us, as a channel of universal wisdom peering through. If we are so fortunate to have a loved one who can witness and behold, without interfering but merely offering their own wisdom and guidance, while we traverse these dark passages deeper into our soul.
It is a terrible burden to bear, all that is us—our ultimate truth—if we never really allow what is true to become an expression of nature, inalienably connected to all that is. An unerring expression of what the universe deems necessary for further reconciliation of karma, heartbreak, and violence, that we know, deep within the lair of our hearts and innocent minds—unbridled in spirit—is no longer our truth.
We can let go—give in and let be—what nature is intending to become.
Let us rejoice when tears are shed, knowing that we are liberating what no longer serves and allowing for the expansion of deeper, abiding love to course through us, exude from us and influence others, as a divine representation of our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual masculine embodiments (our divine feminine too).
If you are troubled at present, please know that support exists, is available to you, and that there are some who truly wish to selflessly allow you to explore your inner truths, whether they are still a part of your life still teaching you lessons, or if they simply need to vent themselves, become the light, transmuted and reborn, within you.
Just ask the universe, “Is there someone, I can unfurl myself to (without shame, or feeling inadequate as a man)?” Know that there are those who will always see you in the best light.
Go now, and let your truths prevail. Do no harm to others—this includes you too. Peace.
I am sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.
Here is to the allowance of our nature’s surrender, to let thy will become our life’s masterpiece.
—Photo Credit: Flickr/David Blaikie