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Individual isolation is a growing factor in our modern society. Because of the growing epidemic of isolation, we are losing our ability to communicate and our ability to carry on a mutual supportive conversation. The art of conversation is an important skill we can not afford to not utilize in our modern world of technology. The old fashion one on one, face to face kind of conversation, which has withstood time and is a gift of languaging, which creates a space of trust, openness, compassion, and solution.
Everyone seems to be in a pursuit, for safety, personal wealth, spiritual balance, self-improvement, and simple power. There seems to be an obsession with receiving what you claim as your personal entitlement. Their sense of entitlement is one of being made to feel special and privileged. They want the recognition of their individual sense of specialness. The thought is they are not receiving what they deserve. They feel as if they have not been serviced or heard.
Each human voice and story is important and should be heard and a conversation is a great tool of exchanging time and energy in the name of bonding ass human beings. Conversations are gifts of compassion and personal dialogue.
After over 45 years of being a hair designer, I have heard more stories than I care to share at this moment, but I will share some of my experience and what I have learned about the art of conversation when it is utilized and working and when it falls flat on its face and needs to be upgraded.
I feel so many times people are sending out false alarms of fear when they think within their own heads they are communicating. They don’t realize they are just reciting their voices of fear as a way of life, ‘these people are stealing from me’, ‘people don’t recognize my worth’, ‘ those people have more than me and I deserve what they have’, and the list goes on and on. Most people don’t realize they are not communicating in a dialogue but having a monologue. Without their own knowledge, a wall of temporary safety shells them from any impending harm, whether the harm comes for them or not. They are simply speaking in the language of fear. The conversation is not one of solution, but again, one of fear.
Pointing fingers at other human beings in the midst of a conversation is not a dialogue, but simply an act of judgment and usually the person is making a statement of the person they are pointing at is a person considered ‘less than.’ Again, we have a monologue. It is a passive aggressive act done to gain personal safety and diminish another human being existence. Instead of joining together in conversation, there becomes a game of conquering while an act of fear is being communicated. The silent conversation is communicated with intentional actions spoken without words.
Intention is an important factor of beginning and ending a conversation. It should not just be a series of power points presented to overpower the mind to submission. It should be an invitation to share and listen. We, as a people, should be aware of the impact we have on others when we invite a person to have a verbal exchange, a sharing of words and emotions.
When conversations are conducted with the intention of creating a space of open dialogue with a compassionate exchange, an outcome of honoring a human story with personal interaction ending in some compassionate resolution.
I find the art of listening is an intricate part of the art of conversation. The two must coexist if the conversation will become a success. Always try to remember what was the original goal or topic of the conversation. Remember to breathe in between statements and listen with intent when the other person is speaking. Try not to be thinking of your response while the other is speaking. Stay present and aware of the movement of the conversation and respect the timing of the conversation.
Being a practicing listener for over 45 years has taught me two important factors. Number one, when in a conversation you have to remember you are in this conversation to hear what the other person is saying. Number two, reply in a courteous and respectful way, the truth of your response. One overall factor of being in a conversation is it is a moment of sharing, not a moment of being overbearing by being controlling and self absorbed.
Conversation is an act of sharing and a gaining of new information.
It is a gift of listening and receiving, then giving and releasing.
Conversation is a contract of being present to unify in purpose.
It is a human act of collaboration.
Conversation is an act to attempt to relate or simply communicate while being in service to hear and understand the wants and wishes of the human race.
Communication and conversation are acts of being in service to the human race and we need a little more of that type of compassion, especially in these modern times.
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