Recently there’s some conflicts happened between me, my wife and my parents. I have to make a decision: continue living with my parents or move out to live on my own. I don’t really want to move out because my parent are dependent people. But continue living will have a lot of problems. I have to make a decision anyway. But let me tell you a little context for my situation.
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My wife and I got married about 2 years ago. Things went out smoothly until we had a new angel. We wanted to raise him in the E.A.S.Y routine (follow this link if don’t know it). But my parents were not happy about that. In their generation, raising a baby does not need to follow any routine. Just feed them when they’re hungry and let them sleep when they’re sleepy. Things got worse when my wife needed to go to work after 6 months staying at home nursing the baby. Now we need the help from my parents to take care of the baby when we go to work. We know that my parents will not follow the E.A.S.Y routine (as it takes more time to spend with the baby or to make him sleep). So I’m really stressful to face the problem and ask my parents. If they don’t agree, my wife and I will move out. So how do I get rid of this anxiety?
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Plan what I’m gonna say
“In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower.
Planning and things might not work well as in the plan, but it certainly gives you more confidence when you face it. And confidence is always good.
I wrote down what I’m gonna say. How to start the conversation. How’s everything going. What I want to change. What I would have to do if my parents do not want to do.
And it certainly helps to relieve anxiety.
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What’s the worst can happen
Imagine if things go wrong, what’s the worst can happen anyway. We’re gonna have to move out. So what? My parents might find a hard time. But I think they’ll get use to it. Think through this way, and I felt better.
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
— Theodore Roosevelt
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Stop giving a f about things
This one I got from the book The Subtle Art of not giving a f.
You have to live your way. You got to do what you feel it’s right. Only care about what matters to you, others you need to stop giving a f.
Maybe other people will think I’m not a good kid and that my parents deserve more, blah blah.. But I know what it feels right to me. So let’s just do it.
“I have spent my whole life scared, frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that — finding myself awake at three in the morning. But you know what? Ever since my diagnosis, I sleep just fine. And I came to realize, it’s that fear that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up. Get out in the real world.”
— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 2, Better Call Saul
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Hope this helps you chill out now..
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Previously published on Medium.com.
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