Maybe I’ve seen too much death. Maybe I’ve walked the halls of hospitals and nursing homes too long, holding space for those who seem to not be able to connect…until last breaths utter regrets.
Regrets of the apology never given. The dream never pursued. The dance never had. The one that got away.
I have been blessed and privy to have conversations so diverse from everyday people in the midst of their lives final curtain call. Those who have lived long enough that they walked this earth during the events I only read about in history class. Hard working, strong willed and strong minded, determined men. Charming men, filled with endless stories to share with me about a life lived earnestly…honestly.
I always wonder, what would I say if I had met them decades before, that would help them course-correct just a bit. As I sit listening, watching family dynamics play out. The very same man animated with me…full of life, will get quiet as soon as someone close to them walks in. The very same man apologetic of his choices with me…will swallow his wisdom, as soon as a loved one walks in.
I understand it takes two to create daily habits, that morph into ways of being, communicating and sharing truths. I understand that woman and men are wired differently. Both have been fed a very narrow path of gender-specific ideologies. Maybe I’ve heard too many “I should of and I wish’s” that I may wonder why one didn’t but I sure as hell believe one would…if they had the chance again.
Regrets of working too much. Of staying too long where they didn’t belong. Forgotten events and things left unsaid.
As I sit here fully understanding I have no easy answer, though I sure wish I did. I do know this…in order to connect with others, you must first connect with yourself. Out of that connection, what’s true for you will naturally evolve. Your life…no regrets.
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