Do you have that one person at work who’s just plain annoying? He could be bossy, nit-picking, or just keep forcing his ideas on you without asking if you are okay with it or not.
I’ve encountered those individuals throughout my work life, for sure. When I was in my early twenties, the first thing I’d do is hating them and putting myself in a situation where I wasn’t comfortable all the time.
I complained here and there to friends outside my work, but that never really did anything to me. I’d drag myself to work and feel emotionally drained and that person, of course, had no idea I felt that way.
But now I learned better. I noticed the pattern and figured out what to do about it instead of running away or thinking about quitting my job.
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Try to Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Putting ourselves in other’s people shoes can help you see the other’s perspective, so instead of feeling annoyed and angry towards the annoying co-worker all the time, you’ll begin to sympathize or feel sorry for them.
This happened to me where I couldn’t bear with one person at my previous work. She seemed to always spread the wrong gossip about me and talk bad behind my back. At first, it didn’t bother me, but over time, more and more people at the workplace started coming to me and “confirming” that I’m this or that.
I began to seek information about her and found out that she’s been like that to other people too. She has no real friends, and she often posted on her social media that her life is very lonely.
From that moment, I felt sorry for her. I understand why she did what she did, she clearly wanted some attention, but on the other hand, she also thoughts doing those things will make her “seen” more by other people.
It’s easy to give my immediate reaction and hurt her as much as she did to me, but I learned that if you dig deeper into what’s happening and their real reasons, you’ll have an easier time to let it go because you realize it’s not about you — it’s them.
Talk to Them Directly
If you are still bothered, the next thing you can do is talking to them directly. Avoid calling them out on social media or in a gathering. Or even gossip about them. That’s not going to make the situation better.
So ask them if they have time to talk and sit down with them after the working hours. It’s important to keep it low because nobody likes being called out in public.
Then talk in a way that you don’t entirely blame them, instead ask them for the reasons. There’s always a reason behind everything. Most people don’t do it just for the “sake of it.” Especially when it happens at work, maybe they feel intimidated when you first joined the company, or they think you’ll shine better than them.
Talking directly (in a polite & mature way) usually helps you to resolve the problem. I’ve done this before, and we ended up being friends until now, even when both of us no longer work in the same company.
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Make a Distance
If none of those two steps works for you, then the best thing you can do is leave them alone. Don’t engage with them and avoid interactions as much as you can.
I know it sucks if you happen to work in the same department. I’ve been there, and it’s so tricky. But I figured that when I no longer engage with them and only talk when there’s work involved, my time at work became so much easier mentally.
Some days I forgot that they exist, and whatever they do to me, I no longer cared. I just went on with my work. I’ve done my best to fix the relationship, and if it doesn’t change for the better, then it’s none of my business anymore.
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Final Thought
Dealing with an annoying co-worker isn’t easy. It drains your energy to the core, and you think about quitting your job every day. But like everything else in life, we can’t expect everything goes smoothly according to our plan.
I’ve moved jobs and changed careers; no matter where I went when I started a new job, there will always be some downsides. One of them is having to deal with annoying co-workers.
If it happens to you (which most likely), try to apply those things mentioned above, and hopefully, it’ll make your time at the workplace easier.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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