Justin Wisor believes resolutions rob us of the current moment, convincing us that where we are is not good enough.
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While I am no one to tell you who is to change and not change, I want to present you with these questions: Have you ever actually followed through with a resolution for each day out of the 365 we are blessed with? Have you seen anyone in your personal life do so? How many times have you been inspired, then fall short?
These are all valid questions that make most of us uncomfortable, and justly so. They require us to admit our failures. But there are some other questions we would readily answer. They go something like: How much pressure did you feel while trying the resolution? Who was the person who placed the largest pressure on you? When you failed your resolution and, if the guilt set in, who threw hurtful, outlandish insults your way? This dialogue we have with ourselves is all too common, and occurs most right around the time we all decide to set year-long resolutions that tend to fail after a month.
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Resolutions allow us to waste time. They keep us out of the moment and living in the future. Remember my article on choosing happiness? Happiness depends upon living in the moment. Accepting yourself. Loving yourself. Believing deep down through every cell in your brain and body that you are enough. Now. At this moment.
Resolutions imply that we are failing at something. Admitting failure is the first step to success, yes, but having a year-long resolution places the burden of resisting failure for 365 days straight. That’s a year of time wasted worrying about one “failure.” This important point is instead of having the mindset of, “I’m always failing, I suck” you could have replaced that with, “I failed, let’s see why, and pick my butt up to change and ‘do’ again.” I hope the difference is clear. We should not make resolutions, we should make goals.
Goals allow you to see something you want, and start. There is no waiting. Goals are quick thoughts that we decide to take seriously, and dates don’t matter. We chase goals. Resolutions are based on arbitrary dates. They rely on the calendar. Goals are based in the moment. You are either chasing a dream by achieving one goal at a time, or not. You can’t be doing two things at once, but you can do two things in a day. Resolutions tend to be one thing, occupying your mind 24/7, leaving no room to accomplish other things.
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Resolutions rob us of the current moment, convincing us that where we are is not good enough and that we have to suffer for a year radically changing ourselves (I am all for radical, positive change, but bear with me), only to realize on December 31st that you are very different. You are different than you were on January 1st, no doubt, but you are probably not the self that you envisioned you would be on last year’s December 31st. The liberation comes in realizing that is perfectly okay and something to embrace. Embrace the dynamic change the universe throws at you. Embrace the thoughts that come into your head. Listen to more of them than you usually do. They may be telling you something worth listening to.
Create everything you can! If you have something you really want to do this year, pursue it, but pursue some other things too. Learn piano, write some poems, draw some pictures, AND be a more kind, loving human being. If the sum of those tasks seem insurmountable, it is only because you think they are insurmountable. 525,600 minutes in the year is a lot of time to get things done.
You can do more than drop twenty pounds in 2014. You can do more than pursue love, or write a novel, or learn woodwork. You can be a culmination of all of those things. If you believe. Stop setting yourself short.
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If you’re wondering what I want to do with some of my time, apart from writing some hopefully inspiring/helpful words to readers I may never meet, here’s a small list.
- Be present in the moment
- Continue to improve my physical self
- Meditate more
- Do some eye yoga
- Make love to beautiful women
- Maybe learn a language
- Continue to learn the piano
- Actually make PrimalTerps a success
The list may be longer, I don’t know. Instead of dreading not being able to accomplish all of these, I embrace the dynamics that will come with the journey. I hope you can do the same.
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Photo: simplyla/Flickr