Has anyone ever told you-you don’t listen, or don’t listen well?
Have you been accused of “being somewhere else” or not hearing someone and then thought (maybe a bit defensively) — “What are you talking about?! I’m right here. Where else could I be?”
Listening is actually more complicated than it seems as first glance. We do things, that we don’t even know we’re doing, that cause others to feel unheard or misunderstood.
On today’s Man Alive podcast I was joined by Matthew Solomon, an Empowerment Coach and author of Man School: Relating with Women in the #MeToo Era. We had an important conversation about how to listen better.
Listening is one of the main foundations of communication and yet we don’t often learn how to do it well.
When done well, listening opens doors, hearts and even inspires lust and attraction! It’s amazing. People can start to respect you more. They can be open to listening to you in ways they never have before. They can be more connected and inspired to support you. They can even feel more attracted to you!
In this conversation Matthew and I discussed:
- The four parts of listening that have someone actually feel heard
- Why you don’t have to get it right or fix anything when you’re listening
- What the entertainment industry and working in casting taught Matthew about communication
- A great job for the part of you that’s prone to catastrophize
- The masterful action to take when you don’t feel heard or understood (hint: NOT blowing up or blaming)
We also did a LIVE DEMO of a conversation where Matthew modeled how to listen well…
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A version of this post was originally posted on ShanaJamesCoaching.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
Photo provided by author.