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This week, I was alerted by the middle school my children attend to an original NETFLIX series titled 13 Reasons Why
I had not heard of it, my children had not heard of it, I knew nothing about it. Nor, have I read the book.
The email, from school administration, cautioned parents in allowing their children to view the series as it dealt with some “very specific, very heavy” issues.
I did what I feel most parents would do in this situation… I Googled it.
I found a variety of reviews while Googling, with a variety of perspectives, opinions, advice, and demands.
Peaking my curiosity, I started binge-watching…
I am not here to inform you about the series’ details. This is not a spoiler alert. I will not tell you whether viewing by your children ‘should or should not’ be allowed.
However, I will share my viewing experience, as I was unable to locate a review which accurately described what I was taking away from the series.
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I found the exquisite rawness of truth prevalent throughout each episode. The exposed truth of bullying, sexual abuse/harassment, suicide, homosexuality, targeting, and victim blaming.
All truths I experienced 30 years ago in a small, sheltered Midwestern high school.
I found the hidden truth of underage drinking/drugs, unprotected sex, rumors, lies, and name calling revealed.
All truths I experienced 30 years ago in a small, sheltered Midwestern high school.
I found the widespread truth of grief/loss/confusion, lack of understanding and communication between parents and teenagers, non-accountability of school administration and community for tragedies occurring within the confines of the premises under their authority, visually uncovered.
All truths I experienced 30 years ago in a small, sheltered Midwestern high school.
The realization that, in the 30 years since leaving high school, basically nothing has changed, held a more profound impact for me than the actual events depicted.
Along with the shocking realization that the same truths of 30 years ago were still being minimized and diminished, brushed aside instead of addressed, dismissed before being heard by parents, school administration as well as other community-based adults.
As I sat with this revelation, trying to understand how, in a world where access to information is at our fingertips in a moments notice, where children take part in assembly after assembly regarding alcohol, drugs, bullying, sexual abuse and suicidal warning signs, as mandated by state laws, any of these truths could still be ignored.
I tried to understand why caution was being sent to parents, by school administration, regarding these truths, along with encouragement to protect their children from the realities they carry.
I tried to understand why this series was being treated as anything other than what it was…an attempt to portray truths we are all living with each and every day.
Bullying, targeting, victim blaming, sexual abuse, drugs/alcohol, suicide.
Underaged drinking/drugs, unprotected sex, rumors, lies, and name calling.
Grief/loss/confusion, lack of understanding and communication between parents and children, non-accountability of school administration and community.
It was then, I finally realized where the caution, the concern, the strong perspectives, opinions, advice and demands for the series to be removed from NETFLIX, were coming from…the truth.
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The rawness of truth this series smacks us in the face with is uncomfortable and triggering. It shines a little too bright of a light on our own unhealed woundedness and pain. Forcing us to look at our own lives more closely, to whether we were the bullied or the bully, the abused or the abuser, the target or the targeted.
The rawness of truth in this series expose nerves previously thought to have been buried. It unravels the idea things are different for our children, that these truths we lived with, are no longer.
The rawness of truth in this series unmasks the lies used to cover the shame dumped on us and experienced during our high school years, leaving vulnerability in its wake.
The rawness of truth in this series is just that…truth. Truths lived out 30 years ago … 15 years ago … today.
And, where truth is exposed, action must follow. Where truth is recognized, the most natural reaction is that something, anything must be done to contain it.
I understood the school administrations’ caution and encouragement to shelter children from these truths.
I understood the many reviewers’ perspectives, opinions, and advice in an attempt to protect and shelter their own children.
However, I also understood I was not able to be sheltered from these same truths 30 years ago, as were not my parents 50 years ago, nor my children today.
Truth is truth. It doesn’t change or go away simply by looking the other way or not looking at all.
Bullying, sexual abuse/harassment, suicide, homosexuality, targeting, and victim blaming.
Underaged drinking/drugs, unprotected sex, rumors, lies, and name calling.
Grief/loss/confusion, lack of understanding and communication between parents and children, non-accountability of school administration and community.
All truths addressed in this original NETFLIX series. All truths every one of our children faces each day.
A series not designed to encourage parents, school administration, and adults to shelter children from the realities of life while fear has us looking the other way.
But a series, designed to shake us all up as parents, school administration, and adults; an opportunity to wake up and learn from the underlying statement of —
“Do something! This is what we are living with. This is what you lived with and we are still living with. Stop turning away, stop pretending this isn’t happening. See us, hear us, know us, be with us. And, please, help us make a change.”
At least, that was my take on it…
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Photo Credit: Flickr
A brilliant review, Jill. Couldn’t agree more.
It’s a rare thing to find someone who can handle the truth. People generally prefer a pleasant lie.
This is incredibly annoying. I wrote an entire reply to your post and the page refreshed itself because of a bug–forcing me to re-write my entire comment. Let me quickly sum it up in a few words though. This post adds more fuel to the fire. Bullying, slut shaming, and other instances of trauma are shown quite well in the few episodes that I’ve watched. None of that matters, because the show itself is doing a huge disservice to viewers by telling them that suicide is a choice. IT IS NOT A CHOICE. Suicide is a knee-jerk reaction to insurmountable… Read more »
Dave, pllease watch the whole series. By the end you may have a different opinion about what the show is actually saying.