Writing this story is actually very challenging. All my stories are based on my experiences and what I feel at the moment. We go through phases in our lives and right now I think is the best time to write this.
Sometimes I find myself thinking what sixteen year old me would think about me now.
At that age, when I thought about the future I imagined that by twenty two or twenty three I would already find the path to be rich, settle down and create my own family. Almost twenty four now and none of those things are correct. I don’t have a girlfriend, I didn’t find the path to become rich and I don’t think I’m even settled.
That doesn’t mean I’m doing bad though. I’m working to find those things. The difference is now I’m mature, I’m actually putting the work in and back in the days I wasn’t. I was just a kid dreaming and like most everyone with that age l didn’t have any idea how the world really works.
Life moves on and because we are kids we don’t actually give a f#ck about it we stop thinking and just let things happen. That’s what i did and when I “woke up”. I was in the Netherlands alone with a very serious job and doing great with my life.
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I had a good job with a good salary, lived in a hotel and ate at the restaurant every night for free. Sounds like a dream right ? Well not quite. I was in a different country by myself. While I know there are a lot of people who can make it and maybe they even have harder jobs. But I’m an introverted person — I don’t like to go out alone and meet new people and I wasn’t there only for the money but with a bigger purpose in mind. I took the job as an opportunity to know a different country, different culture and work habits. So after a year I crumbled and quit.
Now I have a secure job in my town but it’s not half as fulfilling as my old one and comparing salaries is just impossible. All of those things really bothered me — quitting, feeling burned out, having a weaker salary with a job that doesn’t actually fulfill my dreams or desires. I was finding myself anxious and overthinking my life so much that I would ruin everything for me.
With this pandemic and like I said in another story “What you should do for 2021?” — I had so much time with myself only that I had to face my fears and those thoughts that were taunting me.
That helped me realize I shouldn’t be panicking as long as I keep working on me and move towards my goal. I’m part of my own process of becoming what I want to be and I’m not doing that bad. First of all I have a job in the middle of a pandemic where thousands of people lost theirs. Yes I don’t have a girlfriend or my own home but I’m not wasting my time with someone either and I can focus and spend my earnings in creating the path to become what I want.
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Real Life Is Not Like The Movies
You won’t become rich, healthier and build a family in a year. Those things can even happen in a sudden but because you worked your a$$ off for years to accomplish that. So just focus on the objective and understand that every step you give forward it’s a win.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: John Baker on Unsplash