What shortcuts? What dead-ends?
You might have these questions by reading the title. The statement is directed to men who try to squeeze their way through life, by utilizing shortcuts, to make money quick, or to achieve personal satisfaction through the least amount of commitment possible.
These shortcuts can be through non-moral actions against other peoples in an attempt to quickly accumulate wealth and engaging in relationships purely for sexual satisfaction, without any intention to commit to it or stick with it. Why do these lead to dead-ends? Well, there are multiple reasons, but I think that the best explanation is just human nature.
What is the goal if it’s already achieved?
I think the best explanation of a person’s goal trajectory I’ve ever head came from Simon Sinek. When he explained how important it is to specify the goal and the means to achieve it. If the goal or method is not tangible, then people are most likely to come across a dead-end. In his speech, he said that if a person is told to go from one corner of a room to another in a straight line, he’d manage it even if you put obstacles in front of him. But if you were to tell him to just go anywhere in a straight line, the obstacle would hinder him to a point where he might stop. And that is exactly the case with men’s common goals. People with goals such as “be rich by the time I’m 30” and “enjoy myself as much as possible” manage to find the methods, and achieve those goals. But when do you know that you’re there? What is the definition of rich, and happy? It’s very subjective is it not?
There are so many cases of people achieving those goals through short-cuts, not taking the time to learn along the way and just being fixated on the goal. One of the primary examples of this is FX Lifestyle, a guy on YouTube that tries to scam his way through similarly minded people, by selling them a product that doesn’t work. Once he achieves his goal and becomes rich, then what? What will he have learned from it and how will he enjoy it?
I believe that every single experience in a man’s life needs to reinforce his status as a man. This means that supply him with experience to be a good husband, and a great father in the future. By scamming your way through or finding shortcuts, you’re not learning any of those essential characteristics that are needed to maintain a healthy family in the future. And family is the ultimate goal.
Enjoying life too much
I believe there is no such thing as too much enjoyment. However, there is such a thing as destructive enjoyment. Something that doesn’t further the joy further, or set up a new stage for it. It can be seen with men who devote their lives to short-term relationships, physical pleasure and etc. Sure it can be wildlife, every day can be turned into an adventure, but it falls under the same category as wealth accumulation. When do you stop? When is the time where you say “OK, I’ve enjoyed myself enough, time for a family”. That’s one point of the question, the other part is about the experience.
What can a man learn from short-term relationships that can help him in the future to be a good husband and a father? Not much really. In fact, the shortness of the relationships garners a little bit of selfishness every time it’s over. “It’s ok, I’ll find another girlfriend” can be a viable argument during those types of relationships, but “It’s ok, I’ll find a new family” is not.
Through the art of commitment, and taking the brunt force of the challenges on your journey to the goal is what turns a man into a man in my opinion. Taking shortcuts cuts out that experience, and by the time a man decides he’s achieved his goals, there’s nobody to share them with, or he doesn’t know how to do it.
The best case scenario that has proven to lead to happiness, is “family effort”. When a man and his spouse tackle with life together. Every success then brings them closer together, and in the end, the achieved goal helps them to reap the benefits of a healthy relationship and financial stability.
So, next time you imagine yourself on a beach with a suitcase of money, surrounded by a bunch of women in bikinis. Try to compare it with you being on a beach, while the love of your life is laying next to you, and you have nowhere else to be. In my opinion, that is the most blissful moment a man can experience.
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