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My dad died at 59.
I was just about getting a hand in life and he just…died!
It was the most devastating experience I had because his death was ABRUPT. To even think that he could have lived longer added salt to my injury. For weeks, I was not myself. I asked every possible question I could, and the answer still remained… he is dead!
My dad lived a very secretive life – we seldom know what he was up to. He would not tell us much about the things he was dealing with. After all, he is a MAN! He should take care of HIS BUSINESS!
I didn’t even get to have an adult discussion with him – I was 29 when he died for Christ’s sake!
Maybe, if we had those conversations, I would have found a way to get him to help himself.
My Dad died of STRESS and PRESSURE!
He was under intense pressure – family, work, ministry, and any conceivable source of pressure.
He pleased everyone, cared for everyone, looked out for everyone…but himself.
He would gladly hand over the car keys to you and walk home, if that would make you happy.
He would give up his bed and sleep on the couch, just to make room for the community he was raising in his house.
He was a very nice man to everyone…but himself.
Oh, I forgot to tell you; he was diagnosed with Low Blood Pressure at 43. He was advised by the doctor to take an early retirement. But of course, my stubborn that would not listen! He wanted to be there for the business, church and all. Now, the business is growing, the church is expanding…but he is GONE!
Too many men are taking this path, and they do not even know it.
A research carried out by the American Psychological Association (APA) shows that, though women exhibit more symptoms of stress than men, the number of men dying of it is more!
What in God’s name is wrong with men?
You see, when you have cancer, you take your chemo sessions seriously. When you have diabetes, you take your insulin medications seriously. When you are stressed and under pressure, what do you do?
I would not have shared this, but I lost my dad because he wasn’t privy to some of the things I want to share with you.
So, how do you deal with stress and pressure?
I will share a few things that I hope will help men out there deal with stress and pressure, so as to turn the statistics around.
Do One Thing At A Time
One of the challenges my dad had was putting so many tasks in his to-do list. And worse still, he would be hell-bent to strike off everything single thing from the list. It was wearing him out, but he refused to admit it.
Truth is, there would be so many things to do. So do not die trying to do them all.
I think I will recommend doing one task a day as a routine for men. Stop piling up responsibilities for yourself that stretches your body beyond its normal capacity. Most times, if you’d be sincere, you are just driven by a sense of personal gratification. It’s selfish! And if you continue like this, you are going to make your wife a widow, and your children fatherless pretty soon.
Ask For Help – There’s Pride in Doing So
Don’t be like Lafair’s martyr. You want to do everything all by yourself. You do not believe that anyone could help you lift some of your crosses. You will not only end up stressed out, your productivity will be adversely affected.
I can’t help but reference my dad, because if maybe he did things differently, he would still have been here.
My dad found it difficult to delegate responsibilities. Even when he did, he would still stalk around to see if he could make an input. It wearied him out – and me.
I told myself, that I will never pick up that virtue from him. I do want to live long to see my kids give me grandchildren – and maybe great grandchildren.
Ask people to help you out with some of your tasks for Life’s sake!
Take a Vacation
Yes! A vacation might just be what you need right now.
I’m not talking about just any vacation, but one that will disconnect you from all the stress. Something like a no-cell-reception kind of vacation.
Tell me, what could possibly go wrong? When you’re dead, someone else runs your business, pastors your church, and probably marries your widow. You see, there’s a lot more to lose, if you don’t take a vacation.
Go let off some steam. Do something you aren’t used to. Learn a new hobby. Just break that stress cycle.
I don’t want you dying like my dad, when you could have avoided it.
Rest…For God’s Sake!
One the most funny things I’ve seen is people trading their resting time for work. And things aren’t getting easier when you interact with most men between 40 and 60.
For God’s sake, rest. Your body needs some rest to recuperate and regain used tissues.
Take a good amount of sleep, when you have to. Do not make it a habit to stay up all night and work all day. It tells on you and your life expectancy. Sleeping for less than seven hours a night raises risk of death by 17 to 24 percent.
For men who are already used to depriving themselves of rest, it is never late to start cultivating the habit of resting. Your life may depend on it.
Talk to Someone…If You Get a Negative Signal
In the APA report I sighted earlier, one of the reasons men are dying of stress and pressure more than women is that they do not see a doctor. Women are more willing to go see a doctor when they notice symptoms of stress.
The excuse is usually that they are way too busy to go see a doctor.
Please, do not be too busy to neglect your body condition. That you survived that minor cardiac arrest is a sign that you need some medical attention.
I also recommend cognitive behavioral therapy for men who are suffering from insomnia.
Losing my dad was a very bad experience for me, do not let your kids go through that kind of experience.
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