People often get confused about what precisely counts as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). (By the way, it should never be capitalized when you’re using the full name of the diagnosis.)
Here, I explain in simple terms, what the core of all pathological narcissism is, based on decades of research. I also help you understand the difference between narcissism, narcissist, and NPD (they’re not the same concepts), and the problems with looking for a *lack of empathy* as a core feature. *Psychopaths* lack empathy; narcissists, even those with NPD, have empathy * impairments*, which can be confusing for their loved ones who see flashes of empathy. Hence the whole struggle “are they a narcissist (with NPD) or aren’t they. Just because you see moments of empathy doesn’t mean the person you’re with isn’t a pathological narcissist.
Remaining focused on the core of all pathological narcissism, what I call EEE, or Triple E, can help you remain vigilant to the most important signs that narcissism has tipped into the range of disorder and isn’t merely a trait anymore. And that can help you better understand what you’re seeing.
A note about Triple E: In the video, I wasn’t quite clear (I do these videos extemporaneously, in one take, for efficiency) in describing exploitation. What I meant to say, simply, is that exploitation is doing whatever it takes to meet our needs, no matter what the cost to others. You can see how exploitation is such a core part of disordered narcissism. In fact, together exploitation and entitlement (or EE, in the research, which is where I got the inspiration for EEE), account for just about every destructive behavior pathological narcissists demonstrate.
Photo—Nathan Forget/Flickr