My senior year at MIT I called a friend from the lab. I’d been up almost 40 hours debugging a circuit and needed emotional support.
She asked me when I’d last had something to eat. I mentioned a soda I’d had. A half hour later she showed up with a thermos.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“You need a hot meal,” she said.
I was puzzled by the contents. I’d never seen anything like it.
“You’re moving to Carolina,” she explained. Her dimples flashed. “You need to know what grits are.”
I ate them while she kept me company. She’d doctored them with cheese. I was nourished, which helped me through the rest of the day.
My friend was raised by a single mom in rural Alabama. She majored in materials science at MIT. She was tough, but also warm with both a wicked sense of humor and a strong Christian faith.
A few years ago, when I was recovering from a mastectomy, another black friend nurtured me. Every night for weeks, she sent me personal stories that she’d written to make me laugh. She texted them to me on my cell phone.
I still have them.
She was also raised by a single mom, in Philadelphia. She had three daughters. She inspired the painting in the image above.
I wanted to show the resilience but also the joy and beauty of black women. They are some of the strongest people I know, yet also some of the most generous and kind.
When I gave the painting to my friend, she was radiant. She loved it.
It was one of the first paintings I ever created, but it meant a lot to me. One thing that surprised me was how many people have bought prints of it, since it is so simple. But that’s when I learned, when it comes from the heart, it doesn’t have to be complex to be meaningful.
Love and friendship are not complex. They can be as simple as a thermos of warm food or a story that makes you laugh. I’ve learned this from two beautiful, vibrant women. Their stories are rich and meaningful. And they’ve inspired my art.
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Previously published on medium
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Photo credit: Shefali O’Hara