The warrior energy within a man is a beautiful thing. Coupled with his sage energy, creates a cool, calm, confidence that can get him through any trial or tribulation, and create the type of man you just want to be around. The enemy is always the boy within.
Life is a constant balancing act of energy in motion (e-motion). Damien Rice sang it beautifully when he wrote a song called ‘It Takes A Lot to Know a Man’. The first verse has the lyrics, “It takes a lot to know a man, it takes a lot to understand, the warrior, the sage, the little boy enraged’. He knew well, the emotional states experienced by many men.
When I first heard this, something in me resonated with the energy of all three. The warrior. The sage. The little boy enraged. Each has a different energy, a different expression, a different way of looking at the world, a different way of relating, a different way of being.
How you ‘show up’, is often out of the energy of one of these 3 emotional states.
The warrior is initially the man that almost every boy wants to grow up and be. He loves a conquest. He faces challenges head-on, he does not shirk his responsibility or run when things get hard. He is often impressive, as long as his warriorness is controlled.
The warrior is who you want on your side when someone else is trying to bring you down. He’ll be there to fight for you and with you.
The warrior spirit is strong and long-standing. He won’t ever go down without a fight. He hates injustice. He’ll fight for whatever he believes in.
The dark side of the warrior is that he does enjoy a bit of good old bloodshed, which can flip to the dark side if his little boy enraged steps in. The warrior can be a little prone to being stubborn, resistant and arrogant.
The warrior is the man who will be there till the end. He is the type of man who will see what he wants and go for it. He is the type of man, who despite being in a losing battle, will always find a way.
Hollywood loves the warrior because he is the stereotypical savior. Think Russel Crowe in Gladiator.
Now, of course, life isn’t just one big movie set, is it? The reality is, life is sometimes bloody tough, life can throw you plenty of curve balls, take you right to the edge and then push you some more. The warrior energy is the determination to not give up, despite the obstacles.
The warrior can be incredibly attractive. His energy and strength are alluring. But until he learns to tap into his sage, his true depth of confidence and wisdom will elude him, and he will remain boyish throughout his life.
He is akin to the knight.
Wisdom is the sage’s best friend, his calling card. The sage is your inner ‘wise man’. He is relaxed and unphased by what life throws his way, because he understands that everything ebbs and flows.
For most of us, it takes a little life experience to move into the energy of the sage. And for some of us, the sage will sadly never appear, mainly because his little boy enraged rules the roost.
The sage is the part of a man who knows when to fight and when to avoid a fight. It’s not that he is weak or likes to take the easy option, he just knows from experience, that wisdom is often better than brute strength. He uses his head AND follows his heart. The warrior, in contrast, is all heart.
The spirit of wisdom is what you want when you are in a situation and you just don’t know what to do. The sage’s job is to reveal to you, the best way to navigate life, a relationship, a situation, a challenge.
Think Dumbledore from Harry Potter, Obi-Wan from Star Wars. These men know a better way, because they have lived it. They’ve been through a few battles, they’ve seen a little of life, they have experienced the trials and tribulations of the curveball. But they are still strong. It’s now an inner strength that they possess.
A favorite Dumbledore quote of mine is: “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” — whereas the warrior relies heavily on his abilities, the sage knows it’s more about wisdom and mindfulness.
The sage energy is confident, patient, and powerful. He does not rush in, he doesn’t lash out, he doesn’t draw a sword unless it’s absolutely necessary.
The sage can save the warrior a lot of unnecessary effort, to conserve his energy for battles that are truly needed. The sage can soothe and nurture the little boy inside, calm the rage, and bring healing.
He is akin to the King.
The little boy enraged
This one is quite self-explanatory. The little boy in a rage, is that part of us who just wants to scream, rant and throw a tantrum, just to get what he wants or needs. He thrives off fear.
Although the little boy in a rage likes to fight, it’s a different fight to the warrior. It’s not a fight for justice, it’s a fight of the ego, to get his own way.
The little boy wants what he wants. And needs what he needs. But by going into rage mode, all he does is inflame himself even more. Rage energy is what destroys relationships, ruins friendships and blocks opportunities.
The boy in a rage is what gets triggered when someone cuts in front of you in traffic. Road rage is a classic expression of a man who cannot control his boy. The only problem is, when a grown man goes into rage mode, he can cause a lot of damage.
Think of the John McEnroe tennis tantrums the 80’s tennis. “But sir, that ball was in, OMG, FFS, how could you not see that … unbelievable!”. Think Charlie from “Two and a Half Men”. Always the boy.
The little boy enraged always f*cks things up, but he himself is not a f*ck up. The little boy inside needs to know that he’s loved, safe and cared for. If not, his rage, anger, and frustration will get the better of him. The little boy needs nurturing and kindness. He also needs boundaries.
A grown man who displays boyish rage traits is not attractive. He will continue to struggle in relationships throughout his entire life.
He is akin to the joker.
So an understanding of all 3 energies is needed, if a man is to fully understand what is going on inside of him.
The warrior knows when to lay down his sword and when to fight. The vitality of the warrior is an asset.
The sage knows the powerful practice of a calm approach to life. His wisdom is invaluable.
The little boy, when safe, knows how to play and have fun. His lightheartedness is refreshing.
Each needs the other, if a man is to embody and integrate his entire self into one.
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