Editor’s Note: Today’s post in Mike Berry’s column is written by his wife, Kristin Berry.
You know how this goes … Kids head off to school, house is finally quiet, it’s time to get to work, you go about your day. Not too long after your phone rings. It’s the school again!
Every parent knows that when the school calls it’s no laughing matter. As parents of a large family, we field our fair share of school phone calls. As parents of children with special needs, we’ve come to dread seeing the number appear on the caller ID. We worry that our child may need an adjustment to her IEP. We fear the nurse has had to use our son’s Epi-Pen. We shutter to think the counselor may be calling to discuss our child’s latest standardized test scores or failing grades. Here are 10 times we weren’t prepared for what the school was about to say.
10. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Mrs. Teacher. I need to talk to you about your son. He refuses to use anyone’s name and instead refers to them as chicken wing.”
9. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Mrs. Teacher again. Your son thinks he’s an actual chicken and we can’t get him to stop pecking the desk.”
8. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Ms. Principal. I have your daughter in my office. She stomped on another little girl’s foot and now she refuses to apologize because she says the little girl is her arch nemesis.”
7. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Miss Teacher. You may have noticed it’s 30 degrees outside. We encourage our parents to help their children dress appropriately for the weather. We have a concern about your son wearing shorts and flip-flops to school.”
… 5 minutes later …
“Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Mr. Bus Driver. I just found a coat, scarf, gloves, hat, sweat pants, and a pair of snow boots left in your son’s assigned seat.”
6.” Mrs. Berry, this is Mrs. Administrative Assistant. I have your daughter in the office because she came to school with 2 left shoes.”
5. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Mr. Teacher. I asked all the first graders to bring a water bottle to school but your son brought a baby bottle. He’s been sipping on it all day and when I asked him what he was doing he shrugged and said I’m a baby, duh.”
4. Um, Mrs. Berry, this is Mrs. Teacher again. You may have noticed that it’s 90 degrees outside. Your son packed a leather Harley Davidson jacket in his bag. He’s been wearing it since lunch. He’s sweating profusely and his face is turning red but he refuses to take it off.
3. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Miss Teacher. Your son told the 1st grade class that his Mommy puts the dollar under his pillow because the tooth fairy is dead.”
2. “Hello Mrs. Berry, this is Mrs. Teacher. Your son has been hanging upside down all day. When I asked him to sit at his desk he put a finger to his mouth and said, shhh I’m sleeping. I’m a bat. I can’t work now I’m nocturnal.”
1. “Hello Mrs. Berry this is Mrs. Principal. I have your daughter in the office, Kindergarten doesn’t start till tomorrow.”
Originally published on Confessions of an Adoptive Parent