Every man has NUTs, whether he knows it or not. Your NUTs are your life force. They shape who you are. They affect how you show up. They determine what types of relationships you have. Oh and yes, the better shape your NUTs are in, the better your life will be.
Ok. The concept of NUTs comes from life coach and author Wayne Levine, who wrote a book called ‘Hold Onto Your Nuts’. In a nutshell, your N.U.T.s are your Non-negotiable, Unalterable Terms.
Whether you’re married, single, divorced, partnered, or some variation of any of those, your NUTs are the contract you hold with yourself, to live the life and be the man, you choose to be.
“Hold On to Your N.U.T.s” effectively lays out for men, what they need to know: the truth about themselves, their relationships, their responsibilities as men, and the power they have to break through their barriers of doubt and fear” – Wayne Levine.
So, rather than just talk about the concept, I thought I’d share my very own NUTs with you, to give you an idea of what we’re talking about here.
Now before I start, let me say, my NUTs may change from time to time, but basically, they stay the same. They are my very own non-negotiable unalterable terms for how I choose to live my life. They have nothing to do with anyone else. They are an agreement between me and me. No-one else touches them, only I get to do that.
My NUTs will be different from yours. Just as my NUTs only apply to me, yours only apply to you.
The beauty of being aware of your NUTs means that you can consciously choose to move towards them on a daily basis.
I don’t always nail these NUTs 100% by the way. They are the goal posts for which I aim. The idea being, if I fall short, I admit my shortcomings to myself, without shaming, get up, dust off, and go again. The purpose is that these values become the way I operate. My modus operandi (MO) for my life.
Whilst I don’t always achieve this nirvana, my NUTs form the values that I consciously move towards on a daily basis.
They all begin with the words: “I am a man who”.
Here are 7 of my own NUTs that I will share with you:
1. I am a man who shows kindness
For me, this means: I don’t live in a reactive state. I am slow to anger (still working on this NUT). I choose kindness over cruelty, kindness over riding roughshod over others, kindness over being harsh, kindness over criticism. I choose to give others the benefit of the doubt. I am open, warm and approachable
2. I am a man who looks after the needs of his immediate family
For me, this means: I do my best to provide for what my family needs. It extends to showing interest in, supporting and encouraging each person to follow and pursue their own dreams.
3. I am a man who stands up for what I believe in:
For me, this means: if I believe in something, I will speak up, stand up and fight for that value. I will not stay silent if I see an injustice that goes against a personal belief, or is bringing someone else down.
4. I am a man who is committed to my own personal growth
For me, this means: being equally committed to growing emotionally, spiritually, physically and mindfully. I am conscious of being emotionally available. I pause daily to connect with a higher power. I keep physically fit and healthy, includes what I eat. I read, take courses and invest in my own personal development.
5. I am a man who follows his heart with a sense of adventure
For me, this means: I don’t just follow the status quo. If I believe strongly in something, I go for it. I like to see life as an adventure rather than a mundane existence that I have no influence over. I am the creator of my own reality.
6. I am a man who is faithful to his wife
For me, this means: I don’t chase after or fool around with other women. My wife is my number 1 when it comes to the love and romance department.
7. I am a man who aims to show up as the best version of myself I can be
For me, this means: I own my own sh*t. I take responsibility for my own faults and seek to better myself, wherever I can.
NUTs are not easy things to hold onto. But hold onto them you must, if you are going to be true to yourself and be the best version of yourself you can be. Your NUTs take courage to maintain. There’s a reason why ‘having balls’ is a term used to convey having courage.
Try writing down a few of your own NUTs. You might be surprised. What is it you truly believe in and will stand for? Good luck with nurturing your NUTs.
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