I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away
But baby, I just need one good one to stay
You may have a million reasons to quit, to walk away. But what is your one reason to start something?
All that you need is one reason.
If you are like me, you have a few things that you want to quit this year. A few examples of your quit list could be:
- Using marijuana
- Ruminating to the point of running your depression into overdrive
- Over committing
It is easy to be clear about want you want to quit (or cut back on), but it is usually more difficult deciding what to start doing (and when to start doing it).
The temptation can be to rush into deciding what you want to change before you consider why you want to make a change. Knowing WHAT you want to stop is a good thing and knowing WHY you want to quit is even more important.
So why do you want to reduce your clutter, eat a little less, drink less, smoke less marijuana or over-commit less this year?
You may want to consider your answer to these questions slowly. Slow answers are usually the best answers because you take time to deeply consider the costs and benefits of making a decision.
It’s important, because when you begin something one of the pressures is to start of doing your absolute best at it. And your best might just be getting in the way of what is good for you.
Good, better or best?
Perfectionism can kill your motivation to make progress in your goals. It can make you feel stuck because all that you can think about is the best decision you can make. Perfectionism does not make room for growth because we will only accept the best from ourselves.
Sometimes you can’t give your best or you are not sure what the best decision is.
When you are not sure what to do next, you can ask yourself “What is the next healthy decision that I need to make?”
If you follow professional hockey teams, you know that sometimes a team can go through scoring slump. They just cannot seem to score any goals. The Coach will try to help. They teach, they motivate and sometimes they scream. After doing everything to prepare for their best, what the team needs is just to score. ANY. WAY. THEY. CAN. It’s not about getting the perfect goal. Breaking a slump often comes by scoring a few messy, lame or uninspiring goals. We break our slumps by just getting pucks into the net, not by being fancy.
In recovery? Have some big career goals? Improving your mental health? Changing up your relationships? No matter what you are trying to improve: You break your slumps by consistent, good effort… not by being your best. Your best can get in the way because you need to just start where you are at. Most times, starting out is messy and very uncomfortable.
A friend of mine, Steve Austin, calls it messy grace. Messy grace is the grace that we find on the hard days when we just are not at our best. It is the grace that we find when we get honest and accept that we are imperfect and that change just feels hard right now. It is the grace that we find when we accept ourselves even though we don’t fit in with what others expect of us.
Your best may not always be what is best. Sometimes you need to accept messy, lame and uninspiring effort. You may want your best but good is what it takes.
Today, you may have a million reasons to walk away. But all that you need is one reason to stay. That reason does not need to be perfect. It just needs to be a good reason for you.
If you enjoyed this post, you will want to read some of my other work:
For article on how to avoid being a stubborn jackass in recovery, click on the photo above.
I write articles about wellness, leadership, parenting and personal growth. My hope is to deliver the best content I can to inspire, to inform and to entertain. Sign up for my blog if you want to receive the latest and best of my writing. If you like what I have to say, please share my work with your friends.
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