“Heal the boy and the man will appear.” – Tony Robbins
I saw Battle of the Sexes last weekend. It’s a dramatization of the now infamous tennis spectacle between then 29-year-old women’s tennis champion Billie Jean King and then 55-year-old semi-retired former tennis champion Bobby Riggs.
It’s a fine film and I think it’s going to get some love come Oscar time. Especially for the love of my life, Emma Stone.
Yeah, I’m the love of Emma Stone’s life. She just hasn’t met me yet.
When it comes to my painful emotions, I have one default: I hide. I hide, stuff down, and obfuscate my painful emotions because I don’t want to feel them. Painful emotions suck.
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Don’t look at me like that, I’m not a stalker. I’m a fan.
Also, don’t tell Amy Adams I said that about Emma.
One of these days I’m going to have to tell y’all about the Ryan Hall celebrity ex-wife club.
{clearing throat} Moving on…
Most of the time, I sleepwalk through trailers. Unless it’s a for a film that I’m excited about. The Last Jedi, I see you.
The final trailer before Battle was for something that touched me deeply, and destroyed my feels. I was a blubbering mess.
Goodbye Christopher Robin is a film about the creation of Winnie the Pooh. That silly old bear is a terribly important figure for Prince Ryan.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote about how shame can sink your life like an anchor.
And in that piece, I wrote about how I was looking to develop a healthier relationship with money.
To that end, my coach challenged me to take something on. She challenged me to look at what happened in the final month of my training program this past January. This was the time I practically had to kill myself to get my final month’s tuition paid because I didn’t have the money.
She challenged me to get complete. In other words, let go of the shame, resentment, and the pain of what happened to create a new experience moving forward.
I balked at the idea at first. How in the hell could I get complete around one of the most shameful experiences of my life?
Against my better sanity, I chose to take it on. I chose to take it on because of pure intuition.
This practice really requires you to look deep. It requires you to look deep inside at what’s causing you pain so that you can release it and move forward powerfully.
When it comes to my painful emotions, I have one default: I hide. I hide, stuff down, and obfuscate my painful emotions because I don’t want to feel them. Painful emotions suck.
I knew this experience was going to get ugly, and it’d kick my ass in a way that I haven’t had it kicked before.
Let’s pause. The kind of coaching I’m doing as a client is a product of a massive amount of trust and partnership I’ve built with my coach over the last year and a half. This is to say nothing of the work I’ve done in coaching before I even joined Accomplishment Coaching. That’s where the foundation of this was laid.
I knew it was going to get ugly. And it did.
This practice took me about an hour to finish.
By the end of this process, I was exhausted, my mind was mush, and I’d been full body convulsive sobbing.
But my heart was wide open to possibility in not just my relationship with money either.
Over the next few days, I started reflecting on just how much healing I needed. But not just the healing of 40-year-old Ryan, but 4-year-old Ryan as well.
Prince Ryan, if you will…
Sometimes I feel like my mentality gets stuck. I’ve got a fierce intellect, talent out several wazoos, a wicked sense of humor, and I’ve got a magnetic presence.
But when I get scared, I retreat into little boy Ryan. Specifically, four-year-old Ryan.
Many of you out there reading this today are stuck. You’re stuck in mediocre relationships. You’re stuck in mediocre jobs. You’re stuck in mediocre lives. Consider that if you’re stuck, you chose it. You choose to be stuck.
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It’s four for a very specific reason. That’s before all my favorite people started dying, before my parents got deep into their addictions, and there weren’t dramatic estrangements from important people.
It was before the drama really began.
And this picture showed up in my Facebook “on this day” space a few days after I took on that practice. I guess I’m about three or four here.
Look at how innocent and sweet that little prince is. Look at how carefree he is.
I’m not sharing this to get “look at the cute kid” comments. Although, I was pretty stinkin’ cute.
If I could go back and have a conversation with that little guy, here’s what I’d say.
“You’re gonna be okay. None of this is your fault. You’re gonna grow up big and strong and powerful. Amazing people are going to love you and want to spend time with you. You’re gonna grow up smart and funny and amazing. You’re gonna be respected by smart and powerful people. You don’t need to be afraid of girls. You don’t need to be afraid to be yourself. You’re gonna write a really good book that people can buy and read. You’re gonna write for a really cool and smart website every week. You’re gonna be admired and respected for who you are. You’re gonna live near New York. All you need to be is you. Because what you are, is amazing. I’m so proud of you. I got you. I love you.”
Let’s double back to that Tony Robbins quote I opened with.
“Heal the boy and the man will appear.”
Let me take that to a new level. If you want to really open your life, open your relationships, and level up your entire existence, remember this:
“Heal the prince so the King can receive his crown.”
I have an assertion, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.
Many of you out there reading this today are stuck. You’re stuck in mediocre relationships. You’re stuck in mediocre jobs.
She challenged me to get complete. In other words, let go of the shame, resentment, and the pain of what happened to create a new experience moving forward… The only expiration date on healing and transformation is the grave.
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You’re stuck in mediocre lives.
Consider that if you’re stuck, you chose it. You choose to be stuck.
Every one of you is a king. You might not be able to see it, but you’re already kings.
You probably need to heal some old, festering, oozing wounds so you can get fitted for your crown.
Keep in mind, I’m a coach, we’re not healers. Sometimes we create practices that are deeply healing (as I’ve mentioned today) but we’re not healers.
I also work with a therapist, but that’s another point. Therapists are the healers.
We can work with you to create a life worthy of your royal heart. You don’t have to be stuck.
The only expiration date on healing and transformation is the grave. I’ll never stop healing and I’ll never stop transforming.
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Prince Ryan loved Winnie the Pooh. He just loved him. And I don’t know if I’ll be watching that movie as King Ryan. But I’ll have my crown, that’s for sure.
There are way too many unclaimed crowns in this world with way too many wounded princes.
It may feel like garbage in the moment, but the breakthrough is worth it. Your life is worth it.
You are a king!
“Heal the prince so the king can receive his crown.”