It is very difficult for people-pleasers, like me, to accept the concept we were not meant for everyone nor was everyone meant for us. The reason for this is that people-pleasers get our sense of worth from the approval of others. I learned, however, that, no matter how hard I try, there are people who dislike me simply for taking my share of oxygen from the planet.
It took me a while to accept this because I erroneously reasoned the Law of Attraction would help me be liked as a reward for being nice to everyone. Logic demanded that—since the tenet of the Law is that energy attracts like energy—being kind to others would get them to return the same kindness to me.
Is the Law of Attraction Wrong?
To answer this question, let’s examine the why behind my acts of kindness to others. My efforts were not genuine, for I saw expressing kindness as a transactional affair, if I behaved nicely to others and do what they wanted, they would like me. Looking at this more closely, I realized I was not releasing an energy of kindness; I was projecting instead an undesirable energy rooted in a negative view of myself.
The Law of Attraction is not wrong. In my case, it functioned as claimed. By radiating a need for approval to support my self-worth, I sent the Universe a message that I did not feel worthy or good enough in my eyes. In return, the Universe sent people into my life who reinforced this negative view of myself.
It is unrealistic to think you can have good relationships with everyone?
It is good to be kind and generous, but I learned to choose this way of treating people for its own sake and not because I expect something in return. This does not change the fact that we were not all meant to fit together.
Why is this so? Simple, a Higher Power created each individual with their own path to follow and not all of them correspond together. Some people chose a life as Republicans, or Democrats, there are introverts and extroverts, scientists and artist. Some people burn inside with anger and bitterness and are toxic to be around. Others are depressed and want others to leave them alone. Sometimes we just don’t mesh, but we must trust this Higher Power has a purpose for all of us.
The same goes for you, you will not connect with everyone you meet. We are not all peas from the same pod. Even our body teaches us this message. The body designates some cells to work in the liver, while others the heart, they don’t have similar purposes, but their joint effort helps the entire system work.
Because we don’t get along with everyone does not mean they are evil, stupid or wrong, it is just the way of the world.
Therefore, you might as well always act to please your Higher Self and hang out with the people who love you. Let go of those who don’t. Wish them well, for they are on a similar journey.
Remember, paying gratitude for life forward will fill you with joy and serenity.
Previously published here and reprinted with the author’s permission.