One of the most common obstacles in a relationship is something inside of you. That is anxiety.
Anxiety in a relationship manifests in many different forms. Sometimes, it’s minor and occasional. Other times, it can impact you so much that it can end things off. Let’s take a look at relationship anxiety and how to treat it.
What is Relationship Anxiety?
Relationship anxiety tends to describe intense worrying, doubts, and insecurities you have in a relationship.
What makes relationship anxiety fascinating is that it happens at every stage. Relationship anxiety can occur early on, which does make sense.
Early in a relationship, you may wonder if your partner truly likes you and if things will work out.
Later on, in a relationship, your insecurities may mellow. However, you may still have feelings of insecurity, especially if other issues are going on.
Relationship anxiety tends to describe insecurities and doubts that persist. Having one or two doubts on occasion doesn’t mean you have relationship anxiety. However, if you keep having these emotions, then it may be a sign that you have relationship anxiety.
This anxiety tends to appear when you’re asking yourself these questions:
“Am I Good Enough?”
This question you may ask yourself early on in a relationship. This question can also take place during the dating phase. You may feel like you’re not funny, not interesting, or you don’t have what it takes for a relationship, even if your partner likes you so far.
You may also question how good a long-term relationship with your partner will be. You may wonder if you can commit or if they will lose interest.
“Do I Matter to Them?”
This anxiety tends to come when you imagine your partner without you. You may imagine your partner with someone else, and this could lead to distress.
“Do They Actually Love Me?”
You may have heard your partner say “I love you” many different times, but you are unsure if they do love you. After all, those are just words, at least you think so.
Sometimes, this may be due to legitimate reasons. For instance, you may feel like your partner has been distant recently. Other times, it may be due to irrational reasons. For example, maybe they were late to respond to a text one time.
“Am I Overthinking?”
Often, relationship anxiety can lead to your overthinking every little thing. If you text your partner and they don’t respond right away, could they be cheating? Uninterested? Are they really busy?
You are not a mind reader, and quite often, the complexity of relationships can lead to you overthinking things.
Other questions that bring doubt or insecurity may be a sign of relationship anxiety. Now, there are cases where you may have a legitimate reason to doubt. However, that is not always the case.
Relationship Anxiety May Be a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
One sad part of relationship anxiety is that the fear you have can lead to your relationship’s downfall.
For example, if you feel insecure, you may pick some fights with your partner. These fights lead to relationship issues and the eventual breakup.
Another way it can affect you is if you feel jealous. You may end up trying to make your partner jealous, and you can see where this ends up.
What Makes You More Likely To Have Relationship Anxiety?
There are many causes behind relationship anxiety.
The biggest culprit is being burned in the past. If your partner cheated, lied, misled, or did something else to hurt you, you may have trust issues. For some, those go away after the partner has proven they are trustworthy.
However, not everyone is like this, sadly.
Another culprit is low self-esteem. If you have had issues with your looks in the past, this can lead to relationship anxiety. You may believe that your partner is only dating you out of pity, even if there’s no evidence to back this up.
Also, attachment style plays a part.
If your parents were always there for your needs, you might be secure. However, some parents did not meet their child’s needs.
Bad parenting leads to insecurity in the adult years, even if you don’t realize it.
Other times, you may have an anxious personality.
Either way, know that relationship anxiety is treatable.
How to Treat Relationship Anxiety
Wondering how to treat your anxiety? Here are some ways.
• Keep your sense of self. While it’s likely you’ll absorb some traits of your partner, keep your own identity.
• Communicate with your partner. Sometimes, regular, healthy communication can be a way you can reduce your anxiety. Be mindful of how you communicate, and see if there are any ways you can improve communication.
• Practice mindful meditation. Keep aware of the present, and don’t let intrusive worries of the future worry you too much.
• Think before you speak. If you feel a certain way, don’t jump the gun. For example, if your partner is a little late to texting back, don’t go off on them and accuse them of being unfaithful. Try distracting yourself if you act on a hair-trigger with something calming
• Finally, don’t be ashamed to seek a therapist. Anxiety can be an uncontrollable beast at times. Asking for help from a professional may be one such way you can handle this. A therapist can help you by getting to the bottom of why you feel like this. You can also possibly get medication, which may help you control your anxiety episodes.
• Diagnosing your anxiety is also important. For more information on how you can do this, please visit Mind Diagnostics. Here, you can diagnose yourself and figure out if you need to seek more help afterward.
Relationship anxiety can happen, even in secure relationships. With that said, seek help whenever you can, and realize that your anxiety can’t overcome a relationship built on love and trust.
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