I am happy doing a group class once in a while, for a change, on special occasions, or because my woman is there. I am happy, but you will not catch me exercising this way on a regular basis.
I have nothing against women. Quite the opposite: I like them a lot! Especially mine. Of course, I am biased, but I’d say she is the best of them all. I am still in awe of how lucky I am to have her by my side. For me, though, having women in a group class is a distraction. It may be because they are attractive, or because they move in a feminine way, or just because they have a different energy. I feel that I spend a lot of my energy on trying to focus on me, rather than the women. I do not find that helpful.
I have men friends who do mixed classes and they say that they do not mind. Some of them do not understand my point of view. They tell me that they are indifferent to whether there are men or women in class. I used to feel like that until some women told me that I always seemed to be only half present. They said that they did not see a proactive attitude in me. They would say that I lacked edge. I never quite understood what they were referring to.
Some men find it awkward that I do not share their enthusiasm for mixed classes. Some people think that I am not sensible feeling this way. They think that, because I am a man, I am not emotional or that I hold back the full expression of what I feel. That is not true.
I am capable of being with a friend and having a real and raw conversation with them. I share my fears and talk about my difficulties. I can cry when I feel the need to.
The bottom line is this: I prefer to either workout alone or with my male friends. I prefer not to workout with women not because I am prejudiced or because of any macho conditioning( at least I do not think that’s what it is). It is because I feel that working out alone or with male friends feeds my masculine side. I find that after a workout I am more present and focused with my woman and with women in general. I am able to bring them more humor because I am more grounded and much more myself.
I do occasional group classes, but the only group class I do on a regular basis is yoga in a male only class.
Yoga is an excellent complement to the other activities I do. It provides me with a space where I can turn inside and feel the peace that my body gives me, when I take the time to listen to it.
I attend a men only class because I like to surround myself with other strong men, and that inspires me. I don’t mean strong in a physical sense but in the way that they show up in the world.
So to you, fellow man reading this, I would love to see you by my side someday in class.
Thank you.
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Photo credit: Flickr/AzharulKamil
I understand where you’re coming from, though I probably don’t feel it as strongly as you do. There’s a different feeling working out with a mixed group as opposed to a same-sex group. I get even more self-conscious if I’m the only male in the room. Mostly I’m just self-conscious and embarrassed at how much I sweat. I am consistently the only one in the cardio class drenched in sweat. I constantly wipe off my face and limbs just to prevent floor puddles. For whatever reason I don’t care if other men see me dripping sweat, but I keep thinking… Read more »
When I started karate class a few years ago, it was all men….I entered class with two new guys…the class shifted and changed constantly….two of the original men left…perhaps they did not want to slow down to accommodate the newbies…or maybe they resented having a female in the mix….Regardless, I stuck with it for a few years, through more newbies, kids, some male, some female….to me, it was fascinating to see what each person brings to class and how the group dynamics play out…I learned a lot, not just about karate, but about people…sometimes you learn a lot about someone… Read more »
At the end of the day, whatever gets you off the couch and works for you, keep doing it.
Personally, it’s more about me whether I’m doing my own thing or I’m in a co-ed class environment. It doesn’t matter what the gender is of the people around me. But, the quality of the people around me and how much we push each other is key.
One thing I will say is that guys will push me more than ladies generally will.
We used to have YMCA and YWCA for a reason.