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“Slow is Fast,” I tell to all my Jujitsu, Tai Chi and Qigong students. In vain I preach them this ironic truth; that the quickest way to master these arts is along the less trodden path of “slowwwnneessss.” To bring about their “conversion” to this mentality is no easy task. Slowness and slowing down are sacrilegious acts in our Western, technophile, speed worshiping society.
In last week’s article for the Good Men Project, I elaborated on the “heresy of slowness” in modern Western culture. I also shared that this cultural worship of speed is taking a dreadful toll on men’s health and quality of life. Here we will explore why understanding the principle of “Slow is Fast,” can help us in conquering this collective mental illness of the worship of speed.
How can it be true that “Slow is Fast?”
Paradoxes often hold the deepest truths. For years this phrase was preached by instructors on the gun shooting range and in martial arts schools. What does it really mean? On a physical level, if one slows down enough to be extremely focused and mindful, then any action you are trying to “download” into your brain gets in deeper and (ironically) quicker. It is almost as if you have a more powerful and enhanced internet connection during a file or program download.
“Slow is Fast,” means that if one takes the time to be focused and mindful, then you shave off the energy leakages that result from “multi-tasking,” or being frazzled by busyness. In our disconnected society, to tune into yourself by slowing down becomes a profound key that can help one uncover the hidden treasures deep within the barriers and masks we assume.
“Slow is Fast,” is an important metaphysical concept, as well as a physical concept. “Slow is Fast,” is a shorthand phrase that reminds us of the truth that Plato dropped millennia ago; “The unexamined life is not worth living.” True, slowing down reaps physical benefits in reducing stress and cortisol levels in our system, allowing our bodies natural healing process enough space to activate, and levels our brain wave patterns to induce the release of “happy hormones” into our brains. But, besides these physical benefits, more importantly, it helps men to reacquaint themselves with their own souls.
The soul or spirit does not work according to meaningless modern conceptual frameworks like “time,” “schedules,” “breaks,” or “efficiency.” The “soul-spirit” is its own beast with its own nature, its own timetable, its own unique rhythms. If we do not slow down periodically and give our soul some room to breathe, our soul will literally become suffocated. It then spins into dysfunctional methods of stress regulation; alcohol and drug abuse, sexual addictions, unhealthy isolationism, and suicidal behavior.
Ironically, even preliminary suicidal tendencies may be a warning signal that the soul sends for its own survival. It is like the last gasps it screams out as it suffocates within the constriction of meaninglessness; “I exist!” “Honor yourself!” “Do not keep just going through the mere motions of life, truly live, or die!”
3 Simple Acts to Heal Ourselves with Slowness
Quit
Make the commitment to yourself to cut out, dismiss, “ixnay,” capitulate, and quit one or two current responsibilities. This can be something you perceive as large or small. Whether it is coaching your kids ball game, serving on the whatever committee, or telling your brother he has to help Mom with “x, y and z,” for the next two months, rather than you. Whatever you can quit—quit!
As long as the act of quitting buys you at least 30 minutes in a week, or, if it takes some cumbersome mental strain off of yourself, then do it. This will be the hardest of the three tips to enact. You will vainly convince yourself that everything you are currently doing is life or death important. That is delusional and self-aggrandizing bullshit. Humble yourself for a moment, and realize you need time to decompress.
The second most important part is to not replace it with something else. Read, sleep in, go for a hike, but no classes, no sign-ups for sport teams, no commitments. It is just you, Bub. Time alone with you.
Sleep
No, I am not joking. Sleep in. Get enough sleep. “But I am a parent, I cannot sleep in!” If you are co-parenting with a partner, you do tag team. First and third Saturday mornings, you let them sleep in for two extra hours. On the second and fourth, you get to sleep in until 10 am. Get your mama to watch them two Saturday mornings a week. Lie to your boss, and tell them you have a medical appointment for the next month every Thursday morning, so you cannot get in until 10:30 am. Because if its medical and they do not want to get sued, you will get a pass. If they ask you for a doctor’s note, tell them to take their job and shove it. You will add years to your life simply not working for assholes or heartless companies.
Do whatever you need to do, but get sleep. You will die quicker from extended sleep deprivation that you will from food deprivation. Sleep deprivation kicks in a slow drip of cortisol that over time, can cause heart disease, a greater propensity to obesity and diabetes. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Your life depends on it.
Taking Back Our Lives
To take back our lives from this drag and pull of the societal addiction to speed requires discipline. It takes a moment to step back, breathe, and think, in order to even realize you need more time to regularly step back, breathe, and think. Autopilot operating in our lives is a subtlety dangerous thing.
Taking control of your life involves making a commitment to respect your body, your soul, your mind, and your fleeting life enough to say “No.” As you begin to make space enough to heal yourself, the most beautiful word in your world to you will become, “No.” Second, only to the word, “Yes.” The “Yes,” I deserve it. “Yes,” my playtime with my kids is sacred time. “Yes,” my gazing at the clouds passing in the sky as I lie on the grass—is indeed a sacred act within time and space. It is up to us as men to develop that delicate balance between “No” and “Yes.” Only then may we have a chance at living a life of dignity, love, and meaning.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images
Good article! Thank you to my friend & co- conspirator Frank Blaney. Slowing down & creating spaciousness is the challenge of our modern time. Concise & practical pointers!
Really good uncle by my friend and co-conspirator Frank Blaney. Such pointed reminders to slow it down or we will burn up & suffer!