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Western society programs men from the time we are born to have one gear: OVERDRIVE! Young male children are praised for their athletic finesse and speed, mental alacrity in learning tasks, and for taking initiative; which often necessitates acting fast. We hear the phrase, “Life in the Fast Lane.” This is equal, of course, to having achieved financial and social (especially sexually with women) prowess. In other words, if you achieve a spot in the “fast lane,” you have demonstrated your superiority to all competitors, you “won,” and hence get to taste those delicious fruits of masculine speed and the swift domination of others. Universal Studios’ most financially successful movie series is the (currently, 5 billion-dollar strong) franchise, “The Fast and the Furious.” These culturally iconic movies (and games, toys, and theme park rides) epitomize the powerful connotations fastness and speed have as a goal for “real” men.
In our quest as conscious men to redefine a new and healthy paradigm of masculinity, we need to focus our attention for a moment on our sociological indoctrination into the Western doctrine of the “superiority” of speed. We need to ask ourselves a dangerous question: “Is the glorification of fastness and speed as a dominant cultural value killing us?”
This question is radical, revolutionary, and literally “heretical” to the foundational premises of our mechanistic Western society. We are forever hell-bent on bowing to the “Golden Calf” idol of our times, the all-holy salvation of our society; “Progress.” If the false god of “Progress” (and its Virgin Mary, “technology”) is our dying societies “savior,” then to slow down becomes a cardinal sin. To slow down means to be “unproductive,” to impede the holy crusade and march of Western “progress.” Perhaps, this is why robots are taking away jobs formerly performed by humans? According to our societies false gods of “Progress” and “Technology,” robots are superior to flesh and blood men due to their speed and progress. They are not “lazy.” They do not need breaks or vacations. And as an added bonus, they do not unionize.
While fastness and speed may be holy sacraments in our mechanistic and “capitalism–on–steroids” modern Western culture, below are 5 reasons why you may want to learn to savor the sin of slowness for your health and life-happiness:
Men must have the courage to slow down in order to check in on their own personal values.
If conscious men do not stop and slow down long enough to think for themselves, they will get caught up in the currents of the times. Our political and cultural wars raging in the media are merely a symptom of our world undergoing cataclysmic change. Unless we as men have the courage every now and then to step back from the “rat race,” we may morph into rats, rather than continue to be men.
To be conscious means to go deep within in order to check in on what our personal values are. What makes us tick? What “god” are we serving with our sweat, discipline, and speed? What in the hell are we rushing after? And the most frightening of all these value-based philosophical questions, “What are we modeling for our children and future generations? (see # 5)”
Men must have the courage to slow down because if we are dead, we accomplish nothing for our families or society.
It is estimated that stress is the cause of up to 80% of the illnesses that get us in the doctor’s office or the hospital (usually the latter for men, since we hate going to the doctor). Car accidents from speeding or sleeping at the wheel from exhaustion outweigh those from drunken drivers. Most sports injuries and damage comes from pushing our bodies, like machines, too fast. Each man in this world is responsible to the loved ones in his sphere of influence. We do them all a disservice by forcing ourselves to go “full speed ahead.”
This cultural madness of worshipping speed brings us illness and sickness earlier than necessary. We need to counter this indoctrination, by integrating physical practices that force us to slow the hell down; Qigong,Tai Chi, Yoga, Meditation, etc. are all ways we can begin to deprogram this unhealthy software of “speed worship” that got downloaded into our brains.
Men must have the courage to slow down because in order to truly heal, we must be still and quiet long enough to feel what is wrong inside of us.
As men, we already have enough barriers to healing from societal indoctrination and our own fear. As I have mentioned in a previous article, “Why Men are So Fearful of Healing: An Open Letter to My Brothers,” the act of slowing down is an act of courage, since it forces us to be intimate with the one person we fear the most; ourselves. True healing comes from developing a deep intuition (and trust of that intuition) that reminds us that “the answer,” or “the cure” is not “out there somewhere.” Our physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual healing comes from exploring the final frontier; our hearts.
Our healing comes from exploring the quietness and stillness within. It is a gift we can receive only from ourselves. That courageous decision to call the doctor, therapist or friend, comes from facing our personal demons within. The courageous decision we make to sign up for the boxing gym, martial arts or yoga class can only surface from the context of slowing down. Otherwise, we advance high speed on automatic pilot, to what and where? The emergency room or the graveyard.
Men must have the courage to slow down, or else we risk being used as a “tool” of someone else.
If we can generate the courage to slow down, we can get a bird’s-eye view of what is going on in our life, and who may be taking advantage of us. This concept applies in work contexts, in romantic relationships, amongst family and friends, and even on a macro-level in broader society.
Dictators and fascists carry out their program upon the presumption that most men will be too busy with their own survival and monetary advancement, to slow down enough to realize what their larger end game is. They presume people will be too busy to engage in any tangible resistance.
Exploitive employers and supervisors in the workplace keep the pace so fast, they weaken the resolve of any who would dare challenge them. They reinforce their threats with an atmosphere of speed, trying constantly to achieve unrealistically unattainable deadlines, sales figures, and percentages.
Emotionally and physically abusive partners (of both genders) keep up the emotional pressure high enough so that their victims are always moving, walking on egg shells, never slowing down to assess what is really going on. Never having a moment to breathe, like the proverbial hamster running on the wheel.
If we have the courage to slow down, we may actually be able to see who, or what, may be using us as a “tool.”
Men must have the courage to slow down because our behavior is the model for our children, whether we intend this or not.
As a father of four boys, who did a long stint as a stay-at-home Dad, one of my biggest regrets is modeling this “rushing for the rat race” style of living. In an effort to avoid the “sins of the fathers,” (in my case, the absence of my father growing up) I went gung-ho on the path of trying to be “Super-Dad.” For me, this meant running like crazy as a homeschooling father to always “get things done.” All four of my sons lived under that regime of intense busyness and rushing 24/7 for a long time.
Later, as I was trying to support my family as the sole breadwinner in a low-paying construction job for seven years, they saw (or did not see) me working an average of 50 to 60-hour work weeks for overtime, just to “put food on the table,” and “keep a roof over my head.” As a younger father, the only model I had was my single mother who worked endless low-wage hours in factories. To make sure I was not a “deadbeat” like my father, I kicked it into high gear. Good motives? Perhaps. But very poor modeling on what a balanced and successful life should be like.
As soccer moms and sports dads drag their kids around to endless weekly activities like music lessons, sports, church meetings, etc., we lose precious one on one time with our children that can never be replaced. We model a chaotic and unhealthy lifestyle for our boys, who will no doubt pass that unhealthy behavior onto our grandchildren’s children.
Savoring the Sin of Slowness
I urge my brothers of all ages, in all the various seasons of life—slow the hell down! Ironically, slowing down will often not only improve your health, it will increase your efficiency and financial success. Studies have shown that men who take longer vacations, tend to have great career advancement and a larger annual growth in their income. As do men to exercise, read, and engage in other forms of healthy self-care.
In the 2nd part of this article which will appear in my next Monday’s column, I will share specific simple and pragmatic strategies for “savoring the sin of slowness,” and the mental and psychical health benefits of doing so.
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Photo Credit: Getty Images